Sunday, January 31, 2016

A Strong Case for Optimism


Family Is Overrated

Politicians, clerics, and just plain folks extol family as our most important institution.

In my PsychologyToday.com article today, while acknowledge family's value, I argue that it's overrated.

What's it Really Like to be a Genius?: A Short-Short Story

What's it really like to be a genius? In my PsychologyToday.com article today, I amalgamate what I've learned from clients and friends who fit that description 


Saturday, January 30, 2016

What Will Happen after a Sanders Win...And Why That Scares Me


If Bernie Sanders becomes president, as a man who seems to be an unusually honest for a politician,  it's reasonable to assume he'll keep most of his campaign promises.

These are some promises he made in a recent Rolling Stone interview, verbatim.  The media is doing a very good job of lending support to those proposals (shown in italics), so here, for balance, after each, I raise my concerns.

A national health care program that guarantees health care to all people. 

Because the 29 million currently uninsured are, on average, low-pay high-need, atop of the newly covered people under ObamaCare plus the millions more that will be covered after "comprehensive immigration reform," the following is likely: 
  • Pay for doctors, physical therapists, registered nurses, etc. will drop because the redistributionist Sanders administration will hold all the cards. That will further increase the already well-documented trend toward early exodus. That will lower quality below its, little-discussed but truly frightening level:
--  One in three patients admitted to a U.S. hospital will experience a medical error. One in three.
--  Every year, 350,000 patients die from medical errors in U.S. hospitals alone. Every year. That makes medical errors the third leading cause of death, right behind heart disease and cancer.
--  Every day, 10,000 people suffer from unnecessary complications. Every day.
The shortage of health care providers will, of course, also lengthen wait-times to see a physician, get an operation, etc. Canada and England already suffer mightily from this and the U.S. has a much higher percentage of high-need but low-paying patients, so we can expect even longer waits.

Hard-bargaining by the government will result in lower payments to drug companies and medical equipment suppliers. Yes, that will save money but disincent development of new drugs and equipment.

We may, as a nation, decide that health care is a right. But is it a right for non-payers to get the same level of care as the people who have paid mightily into the system?

Make public colleges and universities tuition-free.  


The net impact would be to extend what we do K-12 to K-16. And how's K-12 system working? While we spend #1 per capita in the world on education, we rank near the bottom among developed nations in student achievement. And despite a half-century and literally trillions of dollars specifically to close the achievement gap, it remains nearly as wide as ever.  And of course, if the users of colleges (its students) aren't paying but the taxpayer is, is that fair? Plus, if the students have no skin in the game, they have less motivation to pick well let alone do well in college. 

We need a massive federal jobs program. We have legislation that I will fight for, which would create up to 13 million jobs. 


But we already spend trillions in taxes on infrastructure, etc.   Do we truly feel that spending more to provide a job for someone whom no one wants to hire is a worthy use of our hard-earned money? 

Raise the minimum wage to a living wage...Whether you're living in some rural area, whether you're living in New York City... $15 an hour is the benchmark we should be shooting for.

The net result will be much less hiring: either through automation or simply not hiring.  Many entry-level job seekers simply wouldn't add sufficient value to justify the cost: $15 an hour plus ObamaCare, Social Security, Medicare, Disability, and the costs of employee lawsuits.

Thus many employers would take a loss on each such employee, even if they were perfectly reliable, good learners, excellent communicators, low-maintenance, honest, and never sued the employer. Just as ATMs, electronic tolltakers, and supermarket self-checkout have cost millions of low-pay jobs, the more the minimum wage is raised, the more jobs will be eliminated or automated.

For example, the Washington Post worries that fast-food workers will be early to the chopping block. Already, walk into a Panera, Chili's, Applebys, or Olive Garden, and your "waiter" can be an iPad bolted to your table--no tipping or annoying, interruptive waitperson.
Automated baristas  and bartenders now threaten to eliminate even those last-resort jobs.

BuzzFeed suggests that even higher-end restaurants will replace chefs with robotic ones--Could we really tell, let alone care, if our salad was made by Roboto than Roberto? 

Of course, automation would have continued anyway but doubling the cost of a minimum-wage employee from $7.25 to $15 an hour plus the proportionate benefits must accelerate the job loss. Ironically, that will end up hurting the very segment of the population Sanders professes to care most about. 

Also, redistributing that income from business owners to low-end workers takes money from the job creators and innovators to give to people whose spending has less ripple effect. Instead of expanding the business which creates jobs or innovations while providing the nation with better products and services, redistributing money to the poor means the money will more likely be spent on things with low ripple effect.


Who's gonna pay for all this? 

 
On the campaign trail, Sanders talks about taxing "The Billionaire Class." When pushed, he expands to Wall Street and multimillion-dollar inheritances but even that won't come close to paying for his programs. 


In fact, a just-released independent report by the Tax Foundation indicates that Sanders' proposals would raise tax revenue over the next ten years by $13.6 trillion, with a projected "net loss of income to the average American (who already is struggling to make ends meet, let alone save enough for retirement or even to pay back student loans)  of at least (emphases mine) 12.84 percent."

Sanders proposals that will cost us in non-cash ways

Everybody in this country who is 18 or older would be eligible to vote (without having to register.)  


That will result in an electorate less able to vote intelligently and more subject to candidates' manipulative speeches and ads. Will that improve America?

Take marijuana out of the Controlled Substances Act and allow those states – there are four, plus D.C., and others will follow – to do what they wanna do and legalize marijuana.

Marijuana is far more dangerous than the media would have us believe. Per my TIME review of the literature , even the Obama Administration has concluded that marijuana not only damages memory and motivation, it increases risk of serious mental health problems, cancer, cardiovascular disease, and automobile accidents.   


Indeed, since legalization in Washington state, pot-related accidents have skyrocketed.

I'd sooner make alcohol illegal than legalize marijuana. Of course, compliance wouldn't be perfect but perfect is the enemy of the good. Prohibition caused a dramatic reduction in alcohol use and the attendant misery to the drinkers, family, coworkers, and car-accident victims.

 So what's a person to do?
Even all this couldn't make me vote for Donald Trump but Hillary's proposals are only slightly less leftist as Sanders'. I may just stay home and have a glass of wine.  

Toward Better Care: For Helping Professionals and Students

Whether you're a helping professional, aspiring one, a patient, or could-be patient, I'd imagine you have questions about effectiveness.

Perhaps you'll find this letter I sent to my UCSF medical students of value. I posted it as my PsychologyToday.com article today.



Thursday, January 28, 2016

Unhinged: A story about obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)

I had intended to post Unhinged: A story about obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)  as a three-part story and posted the first part yesterday. A couple of readers asked if I would post the entire story today. HERE is it.

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Unhinged, Part I: A story about obsessive-compulsive disorder

As my PsychologyToday.com article today, I offer Part I of a three-part short story about a person with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD.)


Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Managing Midlife Malaise

For my PsychologyToday.com article today, I offer a composite letter incorporates issues that my midlife clients have raised with me. After, I offer my response.


Monday, January 25, 2016

Social "Science?"


Sixers: 39 Tips on How to Do Life in Six Words or Less

In a previous article, I wrote that more change may occur from a one-liner than from a tome.

A reader has asked me to push the limits of that: "What’s the best pieces of advice you can give in a half-dozen words or less?"

I offer 39 in my PsychologyToday.com article today

What Matters?


Sunday, January 24, 2016

The Case for Greater Authenticity

Yesterday, I gave a workshop for job seekers. Many of the participants' questions were about how to deal with a big gap in their work history. That triggered reactions from me about how honest and revealing to be when looking for a job and in other contexts.

As my PsychologyToday.com article today, I discuss what occurred in that workshop and my subsequent thoughts.


Stop Ruminating and Try Something


Transcript of Part of a Career Counseling Session

This transcript of a small part of a 2nd career counseling session offers lessons about job search, using the visual, and getting what you want. It's my psychologytoday.com article today. 


Friday, January 22, 2016

The Future of Clinical Psychology

Sure, clinical psychology has made progress in the last century. There's now cognitive-behavioral therapy, SSRIs and such but they're no, pardon the pun, magic pill.

Clinical psychology's progress is dwarfed by other fields' advances. For example, a century ago, a person might be institutionalized for predicting that today, people would carry a device in their pocket that can video-call anyone wirelessly for free (Skype,) watch thousands of techno-marvel movies (NetFlix,) and instantly search much of the world's information (Google.)

Fortunately, recent progress in neuropsychology is laying the foundation for equally dramatic changes in clinical psychology.

My PsychologyToday.com article today offers some of the changes in clinical psychology that neuroscience and molecular biology portend.

Edited transcript of a career and personal coaching session

For the helping professionals and perhaps the counselees that read this blog, I thought it might find it helpful to see an edited transcript of a career and personal coaching session. I've changed irrelevant details to protect client anonymity. 

The client is a rep for a major fashion company. She supervises counters at 10 stores In the first session, concluded she aspires to a non-retail, people-centric corporate management job. Also, she wants to meet Mr. Right. 

C: My parents asked me about my session with you. Everyone told me how much more relaxed I sounded. I then emailed or called 10 people in my network. Some said they knew of admin positions or things like that. A few people said they’d help me if I was more specific about what I want, and a couple said they’ll get back to me if they hear anything. I’ve created two versions of my resume: a sales resume and an office manager resume. I’ve shown it to my brother and a friend and they’ll get back to me. 

 M: One of the things we talked about last session was that you said you wanted to make a stronger effort to try to land a launchpad management job for your current company but not in retail. 

C: I haven’t had a chance to do that.

 M: Was that intentional, if only unconsciously? 

C: No. I just haven’t gotten to it. 

M: Okay. With the benefit of a week’s time, have you gotten clearer about whether you might prefer that job, an admin job, or a non-retail salesperson?

 C: I'm not sure. 

M: It’s probably wise to pick one for your Plan A. 

C: I know I don’t want to go back to sales. 

M: I’m talking about being a corporate sales rep. 

C: I’m not sure what that would look like. 

M: It varies but typically you try to get in to see major wholesale or business clients, make a sales presentation, helping them try to solve their problems with an advice, an article an so on. It is a quota-driven business. Is that a turn-on or turn off? 

C: I’m feeling indifferent. 

M: So let’s ask the same question about admin. I have a client who’s the office manager at a medical practice. She hires receptionists and billing clerks. She creates or tweaks processes to make them efficient and supervises people to make sure things get done. 

C: It’s not something I’d want to do long-term but if it would lead somewhere else, it would be an option. 

M: That’s not a likely launchpad. The sense I’ve gotten about you is that your best launchpad job would be that entry-level people-centric manager in a corporation. Because you don’t have a degree, your best chance to get such a job would be through your network because most advertised such jobs generally require a degree. 

The people who said they want you to be more specific are encouraging you to be what I call “falsely precise.” That’s because you’ve said that as long as the job was people-centric, as long as it wasn’t highly technical, it wouldn’t matter whether it’s fashion, consumer products, or education services. If to please that person, you said, “I want to be a people-centric manager in the shoe industry,” that would eliminate any other jobs they might know. 

So you need to push back, to educate them: “What matters is only that it is a people-centric entry-level corporate management job with good people and product. If you’re going to use the ads to try to land a job, your most realistic shot is to apply for other sales manager positions for companies selling non-technical products. Let’s double check: Are you sure it doesn’t matter what the product is that you’d be a sales manager or other kind of manager for? 

C: I don’t know. I need to think about it. M: One more check: Last session, you described yourself as artistic, liking fashion accessories, and travel. Would you be more interested if the company was a furniture chain, boutique chain, adventure travel tour company? 

C: I’d need to see what that looked like. 

M: You’re a visual person. So let’s try this. Close your eyes and take three comfortably deep breaths. Now picture the work environment in which you’d feel best. 

C: There’d be a lot of people, mainly my age, dressed in business casual. It would be an open space… 

M: What would you be doing there? 

C: I see myself walking around a lot and talking a lot with people. 

M: What would you be talking with them about? C: 

Other than personal things, projects for the day. 

M: What else do you picture about that work? 

C: I see it as similar to what I do now: Talking people to make personal connections and then figuring out a game plan with them: for a project, an event, the agenda, the action plan? 

M: So the product doesn’t matter. It’s more about being relationship-centric?

C: Yes 

M: So that confirms our original thought: that you’d like a people-centric entry-level management job in a young-person’s environment, with the product irrelevant. I also see you working in a pretty environment. 

 C: Yes. 

 M: And you’re motivating them, helping them plan like marketing, running meetings, maybe standing meetings. 

C: Yes. 

M: Key to success is what they say to students at Harvard’s orientation: Ask for what you want and when they say no, ask someone else. So when they ask you to be more specific, push back and don’t state false precision. Ultimately, that will get you more leads and good ones. A related point: The keys to almost everyone’s job happiness is a good boss,good product, ethical workplace, nice workers, reasonable pay, reasonable commute. You have a better chance of getting one by cramming as thorough of a job search as you can in two weeks so you can pick the one that, overall is likely to be good. If, instead you do a drips-and-drabs job search, you’ll probably only get one offer and you’ll be very tempted to take it even if it isn’t great. 

C: Are there any other key words I should use in making my pitch? M: If there were a Goddess, what would she say your best skills are? 

C: I’m good at motivating people, improving processes, being organized. 

M: So, if you were an employer in a position to hire an entry-level manager, even though you weren’t advertising for such a job at the moment, how would you feel about receiving this letter: I’m currently a sales manager at XXXX and have topped out here. I’m particularly good at motivating people, improving processes, and being organized. As long as it’s a product I can believe in and the job isn’t tech-heavy, I’d be happy. If you think we should talk to see how I meet be of help to you, I’d appreciate it.If you were a power person at a company, how would you feel about getting such a letter? 

C: Great. 

M: Just as with a guy, while we all have to make some compromises, you need to stand firm on the things that are important for you. 

C: I agree. 

M: Let’s be silent for 30 seconds and you get in touch with how you’re feeling about reaching out to people with that pitch. (30 seconds pass.

 C: Great. I’m already thinking of additional people I could reach out to. For example, I have a friend who works at Uber corporate. 

M: I like that because unlike the fashion industry, the travel industry has plenty of guys. And since you say you’re looking for Mr. Right and wanted to talk about that, remember that the workplace (along with getting set up and online dating,) is a great way to meet Mr. Right. In a bar, you can’t hear what people are saying and you may be inebriated. At work, you get to see what the person is like, day in and day out. What kind of dating site would work best for you? 

C: One that isn’t so visually centric. I want to know about the person. 

M: Are you clear on your non-negotiables in your Mr. Right? 

C: That he values family. I want a family some day. Goal-oriented, driven. And I’m spiritual so I’d like someone who agrees with that. Someone who likes travel, is intellectual. M: Does he need to be educated? You don’t have a college degree. 

C: No. Just someone I can talk politics with, about everything. 

M: I created a Relationship Report Card. Would you like me to print it out to see if it unearths something important to you? 

C: (After reading it) I’ve never thought about it but having a positive outlook on life is important. 

M: Yeah, life has enough real ups and down. So it helps to have a positive bias. 

C: Also, he needs to be free from serious problems.

M: You said you had written a bunch of questions. Are there any, I haven’t answered?

C: The only one we haven’t covered is that it’s hard for me to see big picture. We’ve talked about my next job being a launchpad. What do you see for me in five years? 

M: Tell me what you think feels accurate and not about this scenario: I picture you landing your target job and striving for work-life balance. On the personal side, You’re cute and nice and so I picture you achieving your goal of being married and after, a few months of travel, you’d get pregnant and take an extended period of time for maternity leave and even after that, probably not be that upwardly driving. What feels right and wrong about that? 

C: I had a come to Jesus moment when my boss told me about a promotion I was up for. She said that if you have kids, you probably won’t be able to put in the required hours. I do want to make family first. I used to think I wanted to be a CEO but now I know that work-life balance is important to me. 

M: Okay. I want to be sure that your job pitch is as well-delivered as possible. Key is the PAR story. For each of your best skills that might impress your target employer, you describe a work problem you face, the clever or dogged way you approached it, and the positive result. It’s good to have a few of those in a few sentences each, in your quiver to put in your cover letter, in interviews, even in your resume.  Can you think of one? 

 C: My largest store has a three-person counter and the counter manager was having a hard time motivating the person who used to be the top salesperson and very competitive but had fallen down and now is too much about chatting. So I reached out to the 3rd person who’s people-driven and competitive. After brainstorming with her, we agreed we should make things competitive: posting the sales results of each person, using that 3rd person rather than me to egg on the competition. Soon, she was selling really well again.

M: Great. The specificity of that feels credible. You can stick a PAR story in your cover letter. “An example of the kind of work I did is…insert your PAR story. 

C: I did have a question about my sales resume. 

 M: Since you said you’d much rather be a people-centric manager, I’d suggest you not send out your sales resume or administrative one but rather, create one aimed at the launchpad job you really want.  So the summary at the top of your resume should be aimed at that job and the related skills you said are your best.  Again, ask for what you want. If they say no, ask other people, whether it’s for a job or Mr Right. M: Okay, be silent again for 30 seconds and let the session and the game plan wash over you. Then I’ll ask you what are you feeling. 

C: I feel excited. Before I was mainly nervous. M: A weird question: What kind of skin makeup do you wear? 

C: Something with tint. My skin is pasty white. 

M: You do have a pale complexion. I’m wondering if it’s worth experimenting with one or two shades darker. 

C: Of course I want to look tan. Why do you ask? 

 M: It looks like that makeup actually makes your skin look lighter. It also looks a little powdery. I’m wondering if you should try another brand? Just when you’re at one of your stores, try a couple options for fun, maybe even go with a friend of yours? 

C: I have a couple of friends that would be really honest. M: My sister made a lot of money selling makeup. Do you want to hear her story? 

C: Sure. 

M: After college, the only job she could get was selling toilet paper for Scott toilet paper. One day she heard that the highest-profit margin item is cosmetics. She found out that one manufacturer will sell to an individual. So she bought a line of makeup and called it “Let’s Make Up.” She then rented a tiny space in the window of a high-end beauty salon and did makeovers. And because she’s great at applying makeup and selling, she sold a lot. Then she rented a small storefront in a great location, painted the outside in pink and white stripes and of course, called it “Let’s Make Up.” Soon, she hired other people and trained them in applying makeup and selling it. That’s all she needed to make a helluva living. 

C: That was a great story.

Thursday, January 21, 2016

Reinventing Education

The U.S. spends more per student than any other country in the world yet perennially scores among the lowest among developed nations and not improving while other countries are 

As troubling, despite a half century and literally trillions of dollars and enormous effort to try to close the achievement gap, that gap remains nearly as wide as ever. 
Yet “reformers” continue to mainly just tinker around education's edges:
  • Remodel school buildings, remove graffiti.
  • Ensure classes are taught by teachers with the right license
  • Raise standards. The mantra is “All students can learn to high standards.”
  • Lower class size, as if the same teachers teaching the same curriculum at a ratio of 1/15 will make that so much difference compared with 1/30 to justify doubling the cost of the teaching force. The data is clear it doesn't. 
  • Emphasize multiculturalism.
  • Lengthen the school day and start education earlier. That is, expand Head Start, even though the metaevaluation indicates it’s ineffective. ln other words, give kids more of what doesn’t work.
More dramatic changes deserve to at least be pilot-tested. In my PsychologyToday.com article today, I offer example of a pilot test I’d be excited about. I call it SuperSchool.

The Future of Work

At work, many of us tend focus on what we have to do now. But it may be helpful to have a more forward-thinking view, if not for yourself, for those you care about.

In my PsychologyToday.com article today, I offer my predictions regarding the future of work. Each year, for a long time, publications have asked me to write such predictions because previous ones have been reasonably accurate. For example, for the last two years, TIME has had me do so. Here is the one that recently appeared there. 

There was much more I wanted to say, so for Psychology Today, I wrote this more comprehensive and I believe more helpful foray into the dangerous game of forecasting.

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

The Future of Relationships

A regular reader of this blog, psychologist Michael Edelstein, asked me to write a three-part series: The Future of Relationships, The Future of Work, and The Future of Education.

Although it is said that he who lives by the crystal ball eats broken glass, on PsychologyToday.com today, I offer my take on the future of relationships.


Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Monday, January 18, 2016

A Distillery: The Best 22 Self-Help Tips From Among All My Writings

It's always struck me that behavior change more likely accrues from crisp advice than from a tome.

To that end, I combed my eight books, 3,000 articles, and 3,100 tweets to find what I believe are my most helpful "How to Do Life' tips. I posted them as my PsychologyToday.com article today.

Sunday, January 17, 2016

A Workover: A Tongue-Lashing on Responsibility

On my NPR-San Francisco radio program, I do Workovers. Callers call in with a career problem.

I've been posting edited transcripts of Workovers on PsychologyToday.com. Here's today's offering.

Making the Most of a Conference or Convention: The Ultimate Networking Opportunity

In a career counseling session Friday, a client asked me how to make the most of a professional conference. I expand on what I told him in my PsychologyToday.com article today.

Saturday, January 16, 2016

A Lesson in Persuasion: The Feedback I Gave on a Job Seeker's Cover Letter

A client asked me to review a request for an informational interview that he was planning to send to nonprofit managers. He said, “Give it to me straight in the eye.” I did so. 

In response, he said that while difficult to take, he found the feedback inordinately useful, not just in improving his letter but as a lesson in writing, persuasion, and thinking. 

So, I've decided to post it as today's PsychologyToday.com article.

Thursday, January 14, 2016

"I'm Expecting a Job Offer. How Do I Negotiate?"

One of my clients expects to be offered a position as senior fundraising director at a nonprofit. In a recent session, she asked me a number of questions about negotiation. 

I post the edited transcript as my PsychologyToday.com article today.


Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Many People DID Die Wishing They Spent More Time at the Office

It's often been claimed that "No one died wishing they spent more time at the office."

That doesn't comport with some of my friends and colleagues. But that's anecdotal so, for my PsychologyToday.com article today, I reviewed all 3,500 entries in the book: Last Words of Notable people.

While many last words are religious about their spouse or ending their pain, enough speak about wishing they could work more to dispute "No one died wishing they spent more time at the office." 

Whether or not we choose to work more, it certainly seems we should be more accepting of diversity of how people choose to live their lives rather than pathologize work-centric people as "workaholic" or "out of balance." Indeed, per my anecdotal experience and the names on the following list, many highly contributory people, already lifelong hard workers, wished they had or could work more.

Of course, people with less potential for accomplishment might well feel that work-life balance and even a bias toward "life" is wiser. 

In any event, the article offers two dozen people's last words that suggest they wish they had "spent more time at the office" or at least that work, not pleasure, relationships or spirituality, was on their mind at that final moment.

A Workover: She Wants a Career Keeping Kids Out of Trouble

On my NPR-San Francisco radio program, I do Workovers. Callers call in with a career problem. I've been posting edited transcripts of Workovers that might interest Psychology Today readers. Here's today's offering:

Monday, January 11, 2016

A Final Talk Between Father and Son

In my PsychologyToday.com article today, I offer a fictional exchange with non-fictional implications between a dying father and his son. 


Sunday, January 10, 2016

A Workover: How I Can I Be More Focused at Work?"

On my NPR-San Francisco radio program, I do Workovers: I help callers with their work-related problem.

On PsychologyToday.com, I've been posting edited transcripts of Workovers that might be of interest to Psychology Today readers. Today's offering is about a man who can't stay focused on his work.

Saturday, January 9, 2016

So You Want to Get a Book Published: Lessons from the Front

In my PsychologyToday.com article today, I share the lessons I've learned from my experiences in getting my nine books published and not published. 


Accepting Our Decline

The term, "the ravages of aging," haunts me. So does, "Aging isn't for the faint of heart."  

And those are mere abstractions. Concrete examples drive deeper into my psyche, for example, yesterday seeing a friend in a hospital bed facing a triple-whammy of life-threatening challenges.

And with me at 65, my body is already issuing occasional reminders of where I am on life's conveyer belt.
Even most religious people have a tough time with aging's ravages, those harbingers of eternal death, but atheists have it harder. We cannot look to a better hereafter.
What's an aging atheist to do? 

My PsychologyToday.com article today offers are my thoughts. None offer unyielding peace but perhaps a balm:

Thursday, January 7, 2016

Major Lessons from Daily Life

I'll admit that today wasn't typical but often, daily experiences can be most  instructive if we stop to think about them.

Perhaps telling you about three events that happened to me to today will inspire you to stay alert to such opportunities. Or at minimum, the stories themselves embed lessons we all should remember. I recount them in my PsychologyToday.com article today.

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Co-Coaching: "I'll Coach You if You Coach Me" (New version)

In co-coaching, you coach a friend for a half-hour and then your friend coaches you for a half hour. 

In my PsychologyToday.com article today, I explain why it's often a great thing to do and how to do it.

And this Saturday from 10 AM to noon at the main branch of the San Francisco Public Library, I'll do a workshop on how to co-coach. It's free. HERE's more info on it. 

UPDATE: They made videos of parts of it:

Marty Nemko, Co-coaching Introduction
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbrQx-qVoC0

Marty Nemko, Co-coaching Short Example
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_m3pEohm3s

Marty Nemko, Co-coaching Example Lesson
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAWqovItVgc

Marty Nemko, Co-coaching Audience Participation
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZmLpgWTcrQ

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Planning for Retirement: A Checklist

It's scary to think about retirement. It's usually like the Roach Motel: You can check in but you can't check out.

The checklist I posted on PsychologyToday.com today may help you decide whether to retire and what you'll want to do in retirement. 


Monday, January 4, 2016

The World's Shortest Course in Ethical Selling

We all sell, whether we're a salesperson or not. 

A caller to my radio show asked for my thoughts on how to be a good salesperson. 

As my PsychologyToday.com article today, I posted an edited transcript of what I said to him.

Sunday, January 3, 2016

We Need a Better Solution for People With an Anger Problem

Reading the recent story of a person who killed her four-month old grandson a few days ago started me thinking about all the misery caused by people's overreactions: from school shootings to cop shootings to teachers yelling at their students.

That made me think about how we might improve our current strategy for helping people with anger issues. I discuss that in my PsychologyToday.com article today.


Deciphering A Stranger's Eye Contact

For years now, six days a week, my doggie Einstein and I take a 45-minute hike around a lake that is so popular that each time, I pass 100  people walking in the opposite direction.

During those walks, I've made an informal study of people's eye contact as they approach me and others walking in my direction.

As a result, I have identified five types of eye contact and have developed hypotheses as to what they mean. I discuss those in my PsychologyToday.com article today.

Saturday, January 2, 2016

When is Good Good Enough?

We're always having to decide when good is good enough.

In my PsychologyToday.com article today, I offer guidance on how to make that decision regarding whether to quit your job, change careers, get serious with a romantic partner, rent that apartment, etc.