Practical Questions: College? Accept That Promotion?

The following composite questions amalgamate queries and thoughts I’ve gleaned from clients, friends, even from strangers I've chatted with in the Trader Joe’s line. Today’s installment in this series address “Should I go to college?” and “Should I accept that promotion?

Real-Life Questions: A frustrated job seeker, a person in a stale marriage

This series’ previous installment told of an atheist seeking comfort and of an everyman wanting to give talks.

Today, we turn to a frustrated job seeker and to a person in a stale marriage.

Real-Life Questions: An atheist seeks comfort; an everyman wants to give a talk

My Psychology Today article today offers composite questions that amalgamate queries and thoughts I’ve gleaned from clients, friends, even strangers I chat with in the Trader Joe’s line. One is about an atheist who seeks comfort. The other is an everyman who'd like to give talks. I offer my responses to each.

11 Things I’ve Come to Believe

We all have long-held beliefs, but it might be more valuable to you if I share my more recently acquired or revised ones. I describe them in my Psychology Today article today.

The Parents We Wish We Had: How differently do you think you would have turned out?

 

Core to much psychotherapy is examining the impacts of family of origin. Perhaps the little exercise I offer in my Psychology Today article today will elucidate its impact on you:

Career Gray Areas: Adapting conventional advice to your situation

Clients prefer crisp, clear answers. Alas, especially in the counseling professions but even in medicine, there’s much gray. Here are some gray areas in my field: career counseling. These may help you as you make your career choices.

Volunteering, Broadly Defined: Should you volunteer more, less, differently?

Normally, we think of volunteering as, for example, donating time to a non-profit or perhaps a friend. But there are less-considered options. I explore them in my Psychology Today article today.

Can You Invite People Over in the Time of COVID?

Many people, including those with no underlying conditions, are choosing to pretty much be on personal lockdown. One of its manifestations is that no one, outside the immediate family are allowed to visit.  Too often, the result is increased sadness, loneliness, and their impacts such as substance abuse, overeating, and even domestic violence.

My Psychology Today article today describes is how my wife and I have tried to optimize our risk/reward ratio.

The Straight Arrow: An underappreciated type?

 It seems we ever more venerate the rebel, especially the quirky artistic type. But has the pendulum swung too far from the straight arrow? I make the case in my Psychology Today article today.

Better than an Informational Interview

It’s long been recommended that career searchers do informational interviews, that is, ask a person or two what the career is really like.

In my clients’ experience, there is a far better way. I outline it in my Psychology Today article today.

A Search for Meaning: 4 questions to ask yourself

In an attempt to facilitate your deciding what to accept and what to change about you and your life, consider answering the four questions I list in my PsychologyToday.com article today.

A Gentle Approach to Finding a Job

Even if you could snooker an employer, I make a plea in my Psychology Today article today for a gentle, honest job search. Not only will you sleep better and be able tell your kids how you job-searched, you’ll more likely be offered a job at which you’ll succeed, and have a boss who expects a normal human being, not a superstar.

Hiring Wisely in the Time of COVID

 Employers, follow the approach I outline in Psychology Today to hiring and you're far more likely to be satisfied.

Parents in Denial: A wake-up call

A client of mine has a 29-year-old. My Psychology Today article today  and he's likely viewing his child with too-rose-colored glasses. Alas, both the child's history and the parents' reaction are sad syndromes I've seen again and again.

The Danger of Pursuing Status

My most read recent post is Deciding Not to Live Up to Your Potential—almost 50,000 views in the five days since it was published. As is standard, I wrote it in the third person, citing people’s decisions and the undergirding principles.

My Psychology Today article today describes how I personally addressed that issue and my ambivalence about that decision.

Seniors: Pass on what you know while you still care to

Many seniors reach a point at which they’re too sick or too tired to make the effort to pass on what they’ve learned over their lifetime.

Please, if you’re still in reasonably good shape, remember that sharing what you know is an excellent way to add meaning to your life and have it extend beyond.

My Psychology Today article today may help you realize how much you, even if you’re “nothing special,” could pass on to friends, family, and colleagues.

Perhaps especially because of COVID, businesses and, yes, nonprofits are especially eager to get you to part with your money. A previous post discussed some of their tactics.

Here, recognizing that it may be easier to recognize a hypey word or phrase than a tactic, my Psychology Today article today offers are some words that warrant caution before pulling out your credit card.

Ignored: When the world treats you as irrelevant

Does any of this sound familiar?

• You contact someone and don’t get a response.
• People seem to look through you, as though you don’t exist.
• At work or in looking for work, you are ignored or taken for granted.

Being ignored is painful. As Elie Wiesel wrote, "The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference."

My Psychology Today article today offers suggestions on how to deal.

A Man Gone Inert After Losing His Job

I recently failed with a 64-year-old client who got pushed out of his job. I describe what he's like and what I tried in my Psychology Today article today.

Deciding to Not Live Up to One’s Potential

Up isn't the only way. I explain in my Psychology Today article today.

The Most Likely Route to Career Contentment: A contrarian perspective

My Psychology Today article today offers an antidote to career-counselor puffery such as 'follow your passion."

5 Warnings to People Who Are Too Trusting

Going through life is easier when you trust that most people’s motives are good. Whether or not that's true, it’s unarguable that some people have paid a huge price for being too trusting. Being aware of five things should help. I describe them in my Psychology Today article today.

My Father’s Store: Life Lessons

The way my dad ran his story provides what for me, have been the important life lessons. I believe they will for you. So I describe my dad and his store in my Psychology Today article today.

If I Had a Gifted Child

Yes, every child is a gift and a challenge. And so-called gifted kids present special gifts and challenges. My Psychology Today article today describes what I’d do if I had such a child today.

Surviving Setbacks

You’ve lost your job. Or a loved-one. Or had a health setback. What if you can’t just buck up?

The best approach depends on why you can't just buck up. I explain in my Psychology Today article today.

In Praise of Talking to Yourself

The stereotype is that people who talk to themselves are mentally ill. Yet, we all might be wise to talk to ourselves often. It’s a bit like journaling without having to write, and you can do it anywhere, in the moment. It’s self-empowering and it’s free. My Psychology Today article today describes situations in which talking to yourself can be helpful.

Networking for Fast Results

Everyone knows that especially in our COVID-tightened job market, networking is key to landing a good job. My Psychology Today article today offers an approach to networking that has worked for a number of my clients.

10 Mistakes Counselors Make

My Psychology Today article today describes ten errors commonly made by counselors, therapists, and other helping professionals:

Keys to Great Writing

Recently, I described keys to writing quickly. Today, I describe what tends to make writing—both fiction and non—great.

Of course, it's impossible to reduce "great' to a formula, but my Psychology Today article today offers commonalities among the Great Ones.

Should You Child Be Bnai-Mitzvahed: The case for the tradition's reinvention

As Jews become ever less religious, more assimilated, and except for the Orthodox, have a low birthrate, more parents are wondering whether there might be a better use of the 13-year old's time than memorizing the haftorah (a portion of the Bible in Hebrew) as well as the cost of a glitzy party.

 My Psychology Today article today makes the case for the bar/bat-mitzvah's reinvention.