Wednesday, March 31, 2021

“Mom, I’ll Do It Later:” Preventing your child from becoming a procrastinator

Aaron Jacobs, Flickr, CC 2.0

It’s hard to cure procrastitis—Perhaps you know from personal experience. Indeed, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. So, as a parent, you can be invaluable in preventing your child from succumbing to that serious disease. My Psychology Today article today should be helpful.

Tuesday, March 30, 2021

Helping Your Child Be More Resourceful

Caleb Gardner, Etsy blog, CC 3.0

“Mom, I can’t do this!”

How do you get your child to more often solve problems? The ideas in my Psychology Today article today should help.

Monday, March 29, 2021

On Meetings: Making them less frequent and more productive

My Psychology Today article today describes why you should call and attend fewer meetings and how to make the most of those you need to attend.

Sunday, March 28, 2021

The Ignoring of Individual Differences: A metastasis that threatens us all

Jenny Kaczorowski, Flickr, CC 2.0

Considerable human happiness has derived from how we've responded to people’s individual differences

 Alas, increasingly, the recognition of individual differences is an endangered species. My Psychology Today article today argues that this threatens to undo much of the happiness that the responding to individual differences hath wrought. 

Friday, March 26, 2021

Fighting Fear: Career, marriage, public speaking, phobias, death, and dying

Lamonica Carper, Pixy, CC0

Recently, I described an approach to uncertainty that has worked well with my clients. Its acronym is RAD: Resolve, Accept, Distract: Do what you can to resolve the problem, accept the uncertainty of it working, and distract yourself to something productive.

My Psychology Today article today shows how RAD can be applied to six common fears.

Thursday, March 25, 2021

Comfort for Atheists: 15 balms for non-believers

Chanut is Industries, Noun Project, Public Domain

Religious people find comfort in their faith. What’s an atheist to do? My Psychology Today article today offers 15 possible sources of comfort. They’re of course, applicable to religious people as well.

Wednesday, March 24, 2021

Criticizing Criticism: The case against negative feedback

Yasir72 multan, Wikimedia, CC 3.0

How do you feel when you get criticized?  Many people's first reaction is often defensiveness, demotivation, antipathy and even retribution.

I’ve had a number of clients say that on giving a supervisee a deservedly poor performance review, in addition to no improvement, the honest feedback was met with a formal complaint to HR.

Yet criticism, especially constructive criticism, is widely viewed as key to individual, organization, and societal progress.

My Psychology Today article today makes the case that while criticism is invaluable to self-teaching computers, people aren’t computers. They have feelings, which usually tip the scales toward minimizing criticism and maximizing earned praise.

Tuesday, March 23, 2021

The Case for Self-Deprecation

Mohamed Hassan, Pixabay, Public Domain

We’re often warned against self-deprecation, that we shouldn't put ourselves down. It’s argued that it lowers your credibility and that, internally, it harms your self-esteem.

But my clients, my wife, and I have often benefited from self-deprecation. I make the case for it in my Psychology Today article.

13 Secular Miracles

Jeanvdmeulen, Pixabay, Public Domain

Especially in challenging times, taking a moment to appreciate the wondrous can be especially comforting.

Recently, I wrote about what’s probably the ultimate wonderment: birth. Today, my Psychology Today article offers 13 other secular miracles.


Monday, March 22, 2021

Are You More or Less Angry Than You’d Like to Be? 12 questions to help you decide

Alexandra Haynak, Pixabay, Public Domain

Should you be angrier? Less angry? In general, or situationally?

Answering the 12 questions  in my Psychology Today article today may help you decide.


RAD: A way to cope with uncertainty

Incredibly Numing, Flickr, CC 2.0

Clarity is comforting while uncertainty can be disconcerting. For example:

  • If you’re vaccinated, how safe will you be from COVID? How transmissible will you be? You’re invited to a gathering of eight people. Do you go? How about if you'd have to get on a plane?
  • Amid the COVID-shrunk economy, will you keep your job?
  • How dangerous are carbs? Red meat? Saturated fat? Marijuana?
  • Should you invest conservatively, such as in a bank CD or in a stock mutual fund, which has greater risk but potentially greater reward?
  • Is there a God worth placing faith in?
  • Is there an afterlife?

Alas, there are no clear answers to such questions. So how can you deal with the uncertainty?

One approach that my clients have found helpful is RAD. I describe it in my Psychology Today article today.

One-Minute Cuisine

Debora Cartagena, Pixnio, CC0

Many people scramble to find even an extra few minutes in their crammed day.

Many of those same people spend a good amount of time shopping, chopping, and cleaning up meals.

Of course, there may be times you’ll want to make something elaborate, but there are a surprising number of dishes that are healthy, cheap, and tasty, and only take one minute to make. My Medium.com article today offers my faves.

Sunday, March 21, 2021

How Hard Do You Want to Work?

GR, Flickr, Public Domain

We often behave on autopilot. That can preclude us from living the life we’d actually like to live.  

A bit of reflection can help us decide if we want to change. To facilitate that, previous installments in this series asked you to self-assess how honest, how kind, and how high-standards you want to be.

My Psychology Today article today turns to looking at how hard you want to work. To that end, answer these five questions:

Saturday, March 20, 2021

How Kind vs. Just Do You Want to Be? 11 questions to help you decide

Esquvalience, Wikimedia, CC 4.0

We tend to behave on auto-pilot. It may be helpful to step back and evaluate our behavior.. Previous installments in this series asked you to consider how ambitious you want to be, how honest, and whether to raise or lower your expectations of yourself and others. Here we turn to where you are and would like to be on the kindness vs. justice continuum.

My Psychology Today article today asks you 11 questions to help you decide.

Friday, March 19, 2021

Choosing a College, a Career, a Spouse

Old Photo Profile, Flickr, CC 2.0

I’m amazed that some very intelligent, usually thorough people have made major life decisions quite simplistically.

My Psychology Today article today offers examples and then, a wiser yet not overly complex approach to choosing a college, a career, and a spouse.

Thursday, March 18, 2021

When Time is Running Out: Making the most of what you have left

Temmons33, Pixabay, Public Domain

Even if your time isn’t running out, it may be wise to live as if it is.

Perhaps one or more of the ideas I offer in my Psychology Today article today might help you make the most of your time.

Honesty’s Limits: 5 gray-area situations

Gerd Altmann, Pixabay, Public Domain

Many of us cut our honesty teeth on the apocryphal tale of George Washington admitting to chopping down a cherry tree: “I cannot tell a lie.”

Well, truth is, none of us can honestly say that we cannot tell a lie. We can and do lie. The benefit and fun may lie in deciding when to lie.

Consider the 5 gray-area situations:I describe in my Psychology Today article today.

Monday, March 15, 2021

5 Questions About Friends: Toward having a true BFF

Carlie Horrigan, Pixy, CC0

Thomas Aquinas wrote, "There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship."

It may not be so black-and-white.

My Psychology Today article today asks you five questions that may help you have a true BFF. 

Sunday, March 14, 2021

5 questions to help you decide how ambitious to be

Venus Fomby, Pixy, Public Domain

How ambitious do you want to be? It may help to answer the five questions I ask in my Psychology Today article today.

Saturday, March 13, 2021

The Case for Adding Psychology to the Nobel Prize Categories

David Monniaux, Wikimedia, CC 2.0

The Nobel Prize is awarded in six categories: physics, chemistry, physiology, peace, economics, and literature.

My Psychology Today article today makes the case that psychology should be added to the list of categories.

Thursday, March 11, 2021

7 Keys to Making the Most of Your Recreation

Laymik UA, Noun Project, CCBY

If you're aware of where you’d like to be on seven continua, you may well increase how much you enjoy your recreation. I describe them in my Psychology Today article today.

Wednesday, March 10, 2021

The Psychology in Spending and Saving

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Like most of our important behaviors, how we deal with money has a psychological component. My Psychology Today article today offers thoughts on how to use that in your favor.

Tuesday, March 9, 2021

7 Suggestions for Becoming More Diligent

Mircia, Flickr, CC 2.0

Imagine that your counselor emailed you between sessions to ask how you’re doing. Or that your friend promised to help you on Saturday at 9 and, voila, there s/he was. Or that your romantic partner remembered that you dislike cilantro and when phoning for takeout, made sure that nothing had cilantro.

Diligence is one of those virtues that seem to have gone a bit out of fashion, along with duty, discipline, responsibility, and restraint. Yet diligence has always been and always will be at the hub of accomplishment and, among the discerning, of respectability.

But how to get more diligent? Ay, there’s the rub. My Psychology Today article today offers my best but I fear inadequate suggestions:

Monday, March 8, 2021

Cleaning Your Stress House: A potent way to reduce your life's anxieties

Pete Linforth, Pixabay, Public Domain

Too often, recommendations for reducing stress are for after you're already stressed:  take deep breaths, exercise, talk with a friend or counselor.

But many people can prevent the problem by cleaning your House of Stress. That is, inventory your life to see if there are people, activities, and things you should sweep out.

My Psychology Today article today offers a self-inventory which should help.


Sunday, March 7, 2021

Combining Your Interests: A way to become more special, professionally and personally

Gerd Altmann, Pixabay, Public Domain

Former TIME editor-in-chief and head of the Aspen Institute, Walter Isaacson, has written a series of biographies and wrote that a criterion he uses for choosing his subjects is whether they have combined disparate interests. For example, Da Vinci merged art and science. Ben Franklin excelled in invention and politics. Steve Jobs described Apple’s philosophy as the intersection of technology and the liberal arts. When Einstein was stuck on a physics problem, he often pulled out his violin.

Few people will rise to such accomplishment, but the concept of combining interests and expertise remains useful to us all. It can build a personal identity that differentiates you from the crowd, and it can facilitate your having an unusual career niche, making it easier to brand and market yourself.

My Psychology Today article today offers examples from my clients as well as from my own life.

Friday, March 5, 2021

3 Approaches to Public Speaking

LograStudio, Pixabay, Public Domain

A talk, even if it’s just a one-minute report at a staff meeting can catapult a career.or hurt it. So the stakes are high. No surprise that public speaking tops the list of fears.

The good news is that public speaking is learnable and it's made easier because there are three ways to prepare a talk, so you can choose one that fits you and the occasion. I describe them in my Psychology Today article today.

Thursday, March 4, 2021

Tips for Aspiring Leaders: Landing and succeeding in your first management job

DanyMena88, Pixabay, Public Domain

The Fellows in a leadership training program at two top universities will be reading the following article that | wrote for that program. I thought it might be of value to others who are aspiring to management or leadership. So, it's my Psychology Today article today.

Tuesday, March 2, 2021

Suicide:An Interview with Dr. Mark Goulston


Kleiton Santos, Pixabay, Public Domain
In this installment of The Eminents series on PsychologyToday.com, I interview Dr. Mark Goulston. He  is a psychiatrist, former Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at UCLA-NPI and inventor of Surgical Empathy, an approach he used with suicidal patients for more than twenty five years and none of his patients died by suicide. He is the co-author of the recent book,  Why Cope When You Can Heal?

Monday, March 1, 2021

Your Day-to-Day Philosophies: 16 choices we should make consciously


William Murillo, Noun Project, CC

We all operate under various day-to-day philosophies, perhaps unconsciously. If you make those choices consciously, you’ll more consistently live by your philosophies and occasionally decide to change one.

To encourage that consciousness, my Psychology Today article today lists 16 issues on which people’s philosophy varies. For each, I offer two people's quite different philosophies.