And it matters. As James Clear stresses in his book on habit-formation,
Atomic Habits, small improvements can add up to big results. And
indeed, using the right word consistently can greatly clarify
communication, which is core not only to psychology but to most
accomplishment, professional and personal. My Psychology Today article today lists 10 pairs of words that are often used interchangeably . . . but shouldn't be.
Here's the blurb. It's a bit puffy but I believe accurate:
Even if you're already quite successful and content with your life, this 69-pager will enhance your work and personal life.
Unlike the previous edition, which was 267 pages long, this edition, with all new content, is ruthlessly concise to enhance usability. Despite its brevity, It contains a wealth of the acclaimed, award-winning career and personal advisor's most helpful, not obvious ideas. You will find the hour it takes to read this unusually valuable booklet.
It's only $6. I'd of course welcome your buying it, but perhaps even more, writing an honest review of it on Amazon.
At holiday time most years, I offer gift ideas for the psychologically attuned. Last week, I suggested nine presents for people who could use comfort in these stressful times. But some psychologically oriented people on your list want to go beyond just being comforted—They want to grow. Perhaps one of these gift ideas is right for them . . . or for you? I will admit that one of them is the booklet I wrote that just was published today.
Apps
Remente helps you choose a professional and/or personal goal(s) and then fit the baby steps toward achieving those goals into your schedule. You can also use Remente to track your mood, which can provide insight. Or you can browse Remente's curated courses on well-being, productivity, relationships motivation, etc. Remente is available across a wide range of platforms: iPhone, Android, PC and Mac. On GooglePlay (Android,) Remente's average rating is 4.2 across 10,264 ratings, and on Apple's App Store, it's 4.6 across 1,699 ratings. There’s a free version but the giftable premium versions are $10 a month, $49 a year.
Wysa has two components: a chatbot in which you talk out your feelings on whatever issue and the AI-augmented software responds, mainly to encourage you to further flesh out the issue and develop solutions. Wysa's other component is its Tool Packs: tips and activities for stress, anxiety, mood, loneliness, sleep, relationships, and so on. Wysa's GooglePlay (Android) average rating is 4.7 across 66,000 ratings and on the App Store (iPhone), it's 4.8 across 3,800 ratings. Wysa is $12 a month, $99 a year. Optionally, you can get daily messaging support and eight live sessions with a “mental health professional” for $99 a month.
Imprinted clothing
Imprinted clothing can remind you and others of your commitment to personal growth. As we enter winter, a sweatshirt might be particularly appropriate, like a growing plant, keeping the person warm and growing. Examples:
Forever Evolving and Still Growing, the latter which is particularly appropriate for teens because they're still growing physically as well as otherwise. Countless sweatshirts bear a butterfly, a symbol of metamorphosis, but this one is understated yet artful, so it would seem to be a safe choice for whoever you give it to.
Books
Atomic Habits by James Clear. Despite its hypey title, this offers an effective approach. It encourages you to first realize that changing small habits can cumulatively have big effects. Next, you identify the reasons you want to form new habits or replace old undesirable ones. Then you log all your habits—positive and negative. Next, you note the external cues that trigger your bad habits so you can eliminate that cue (for example, tossing your stash) or at least, on seeing that cue being reminded that you want to replace the negative behavior with a desired one, perhaps writing in your journal rather than getting high.
Talking to 'Crazy': How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life by Dr. Mark Goulston. This book helps you avoid getting frustrated or defensive in the face of irrationality but, instead, shows how to enter the irrational person’s world, to experience it as the person perceives it, to and convey that you are an ally, not a threat. That lays the foundation for helping to guide the person toward rationality.
Why Do I Do That?: Psychological Defense Mechanisms and the Hidden Ways They Shape Our Lives by Joseph Burgo. Many readers of Psychology Today believe that defense mechanisms, often rooted in early experience, heavily govern our behavior today, and that understanding one’s defense mechanisms provides both insight into one’s self and also is often prerequisite to moving forward. For such people, this book is ideal. Thorough, clear, and rooted in psychodynamic theory, it enjoys a 4.6 average Amazon rating.
The Best of
Marty Nemko, 2021 edition. This is a collection of my 26 most helpful blog
posts from among my 4,000.
A print subscription to Psychology Today. It can feel good to curl up not just with your electronic version but an actual magazine. $19.99 a year (6 issues.)
I read this aloud on YouTube.
But many other people are getting increasingly distraught, especially in light of the urgings to stay home through the holiday season, and that despite months of social distancing, hand-washing, mask-wearing, closed restaurants and entertainment venues, COVID cases and hospitalizations are soaring, with a record 81,000 Americans hospitalized with COVID, and 253,000 deaths.
My Psychology Today article today presents a composite letter that encapsulates many people’s reactions, plus my response.
If you’re at that point now, consider making charitable donations in
the names of the people on your gift list, or directly to needy people,
even if not tax-deductible. I offer suggestions on how to wisely do that in my Psychology Today article today.
In previous years, I suggested holiday gifts for personal growth and books for the psychologically attuned.
This year is special because of COVID and the political and racial roilings. So, my Psychology Today article today suggests gifts that are likely to be comforting in these stressful times. Who knows? You might even choose to get one for yourself.
Because of the dire warnings, many people are canceling holiday get-togethers. My Psychology Today article today offers my responses to two composite letters. One is from a person who is grieving the loss, the other is from a person who is relieved.
Yesterday, I wrote about two COVID strains: holiday gatherings and remote schooling.
My Psychology Today article today focuses on two COVID strains on relationships. They’re seemingly small problems, definitely in the category of first-world problems, yet a few of my clients have reported that such apparent trivialities are quite straining their relationship. The first problem: being bored with the friends in their COVID bubble. The second problem: arguing about what movies and TV to watch.
My Psychology Today article today offers two COVID-related worries that my clients have expressed. One is about holiday trips. The other is about remote schooling's effects on their child.
I am developing a leadership/management bootcamp for students at a local university. My Psychology Today article today adapts it for you, my readers. I offer the bootcamp's core content plus an easily doable activity that enables you to apply that content even if you’re not currently in a managerial or leadership role.
You can complete this bootcamp by yourself or with one or more respected colleagues or friendsI believe the boundaries of my thinking need to be broadened. So, I figured I'd come to you my readers:
Is there something you'd like to see me write about?
2 ½ years ago, I posted “20 Musical Nuggets” It began, “Especially in our stressful times, music is essential: as balm, as inspiration, as healing.
Well, if anything, in the time of COVID's health and economic challenges and the political, racial, and gender roiling, musical stress relief may be more important than ever, if only as distractions.
Here are 14 more musical nuggets, from Palestrina in 1584 to
current star Kendrick Lamar. I’ve tried to select iconic and accessible
music, with a bias toward the upbeat. For each, I include a link to an exceptional performance that's available free on YouTube.
Gaude Gloriosa by Palestrina, performed by Chanticleer.
Bach’s Brandenburg Concerto #3, 3rd movement, performed on original-period instruments by Voices of Music.
Beethoven’s Appassionata Sonata, 3rd movement performed by Daniel Barenboim. Do listen all the way to the end of this five-minute piece .The last minute is as passionate piano playing as I've ever heard. (Nope, this one isn't upbeat.)
Chopin’s Polonaise in A flat performed by Seong-Jin Cho
Scott Joplin's iconic Maple Leaf Rag. Here, I take the liberty of offering my own rendition.
Rodgers and Hammerstein’s overture to Oklahoma, performed by John Mauceri and the Hollywood Bowl Orchestra. I believe that the Broadway overture is an underappreciated art form. Oklahoma's is my favorite.
Begin the Beguine, big-band at its best, performed by Doc Severinsen and the Tonight Show Band.
Jailhouse Rock, iconic 50s rock, performed by, who else: Elvis Presley.
Respect, the famous soul song, performed by, who else, Aretha Franklin.
The Beatles, who were emblematic of the rebellious ‘60s with such songs as Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds (LSD.)
Defying Gravity from the show Wicked, performed by Idina Menzel.
Seasons of Love from the show Rent, performed by the original Broadway cast on the run's closing night.
Bohemian Rhapsody, endlessly creative and virtuosic, performed by Freddie Mercury and Queen:
Rapper Kendrick Lamar has won 13 Grammies . . .and the Pulitzer. Prize. While it's hard to call this song a stress reliever, it's likely to get your attention and distract you from your woes. Here is Lamar's super-hit, Humble, which, on YouTube, has had more than 743,000,000 views.
I read this aloud on YouTube.
Many people find that gardening reduces stress and anxiety. Alas, in most climes, winter puts the kibosh on that.
Fortunately, well-chosen houseplants are a fine winter substitute, which calm and otherwise give pleasure year-round. My Psychology Today article today offers my favorites: