Fear of Embarrassment

Fear of failure is a widely cited inhibitor of self-actualization. In my experience with clients and myself, that’s often not as villainous as claimed. Irrational fear of failure is a problem: a person is competent to do X and can easily survive failure, indeed learn from it, yet nonetheless, in fear of failure, doesn’t do it. But often, task-avoidance for fear of failure is rational: the person estimates that their time would be better spent on something else.

A less discussed, often more problematic and, fortunately, more ameliorable inhibitor of wise action is fear of embarrassment: that others will think less of them. A few examples:

• For fear of seeming less-than, being unwilling to ask one’s network for job leads.
• For fear of sounding awkward, not asking someone for a date.
• For fear of showing vulnerability, being too withholding.

But what to do? I offer suggestions in my PsychologyToday.com article today.

The World's Shortest Course on Money:

Eight months ago, I wrote an article of the same title, but there’s enough that’s new that I wanted to write this: It's my PsychologyToday.com article today.

On Time: Wringing 15 months from a 12-month year

The current round of time management advice focuses less on hacks and more on, paradoxically, slowing down. That advice reduces to two core exhortations:

• Take more time to think about complex problems so, per Kahnemann’s Type I and Type 2 thinking, you’re more likely to generate better answers.
• Emphasize work-life balance so your brain will be fresher and because, it is argued, that the life well-led is more than about contribution.

Those points are often Buddhist-infused: meditate, be mindful.

Predictably, the recommendation to muse more and do less has attracted fans, especially among those not very focused on productivity. And indeed, it’s unarguable that it’s wise to take a little time get clear on your life’s priorities, your foundational goals. 

But in terms of tactics, one size doesn’t fit all. Most of my clients who are making a substantial contribution (as well as good income) actually benefit more from time hacks: ways to wring 15 months from a 12-month year.  I offer them in my PsychologyToday.com article today.

Collateral Material: Key to Landing a Good Job

Many employers view resumes askance, swayed by consistent research findings that a significant percent of resumes contain “creative writing.” 

Even many honest resumes have been crafted by hired-gun resume writers who not only polish accomplishments but write the resume in a style that conveys intelligence and organizational ability that only sometimes reflects the candidate’s.

Unless a resume contains incontrovertible excellence, e.g., a quick set of promotions at an A-list employer, or is a referral from a trusted colleague, the resume, no matter how primped, is unlikely to lift an application to the top of an often thick pile.

Thus, most job applicants are wise to show, not just tell. That means including collateral material with job applications. My PsychologyToday.com article today describes the major types.

What Will Happen to the "Bottom Half?"

Predictions vary as to the percent of jobs that will be lost to automation, offshoring, and gigging but it’s likely to be between 20 and 60 percent within the next decade or two. 

Consensus is that much of the remaining decent-paying employment will demand ever more brainpower, technical chops, and communication skills. And with so many applicants available, employers will be able to insist also on people who are likeable, reliable, enthusiastic and healthy.

The Big Question is, what’s going to happen to the many millions of people who don’t get hired for those jobs? I fear that things will be different from previous technological waves in which new technologies, net, created more new jobs. I predict that because so much of the future economy will be based on digital products and services, which can be produced by the millions with a push of a button.
My PsychologyToday.com article today describes what will likely be a problemed existence for the "bottom half" and possible approaches to ameliorating the situation.

ShrinkMatch: Like match.com but for psychotherapists and clients.

Dating websites have revolutionized dating. Sure, there’s some lying and deceptive photos but enough truth to enable people to find more and better matches than just with getting set up, singles dances, and bars.

It surprises me that the dating-website paradigm hasn’t been applied more broadly, for example, in pairing psychotherapist with client. After all, client success is so dependent on being well-matched.

I have some thoughts on how shrinkmatch.net might work. I describe them in my PsychologyToday.com article today in hopes that one or more readers decides to make it happen.

What Does Love Have to Do With Finding a Job?

Often, it’s irrational for an employer to hire a career changer. Why hire someone with no experience when a simple online ad can usually, for similar salary, yield someone experienced?

How can a career changer make an employer do the irrational? Make him or her fall in love with you. I’m not talking about romantic love (although that’s been known to work.)  I explain what I am talking about in my PsychologyToday.com article today.