Mentoring a Gifted Child

We tend to donate our time and money to “the least among us.”  But if the goal is to make the biggest difference, we might want to focus on people with unusually good potential to profit. My favorite example: Mentor or fund the mentoring of a kid(s) from families with modest income who are high performers. Why can that be so potent?

• Of course, some not-high-performers become late bloomers. But current high-performers are more likely to grow up to cure our diseases, create better products, be wise leaders, etc.
• The rich are more likely to help their high-performing kids to live up to their potential. That’s less likely with kids from lower-income backgrounds.
• One-on-one efforts are likely to yield significant benefit because the engagements are individualized and they bring the emotional connection that can foster motivation.

My PsychologyToday.com article today shows how to recruit and make the most of such a mentoring relationship, for the child and for you.
Of course, in today's era of suspicion especially about sexual predators, you may be limited to being a participant in an existing at-school program, but maybe not. In either case, the following should be helpful.

Today's Anti-Boy Schools Are Unfair Even to Gifted Kids

Here's a report from Christina Hoff Sommers of the American Enterprise Institute on how boys are being manipulated out of programs for the gifted.

Wanted: Under-served Gifted Boys

I will be interviewing intellectually gifted boys and/or a parent who feels the child's needs are being poorly met in their public school.

I'll conduct the interviews by phone, or if the family lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, I'll video the interview and, if his teacher agrees, I'll video the boy in his classroom.

I'll post the best interviews and videos here as well as attempt to publish them in major media.

If you'd like to nominate someone, let me know: post it as a comment on this blog, email me at mnemko@comcast.net, or phone me at 510-655-2777.

How to Mentor a Kid

In my previous post, I suggested that mentoring a bright boy is a rarely considered but valuable sort of volunteerism. In that post, I also list ways to find a deserving kid.

Here I describe what I'd do if I was to mentor a bright kid, male or female.

1. I'd ask his parent(s) about the boy's strengths, weaknesses, interests, needs, and any issues I need to understand.

2. I'd meet the child with the parent(s) there. I'd, in a minute or so, tell a little about myself. Then I'd ask the child about those same things I asked the parent about.

In that meeting, I'd ask the kid, "What sorts of activities might you find fun to do with me?" If he couldn't come up with any, I'd suggest a few that seemed consonant with who he is that I too would find fun, for example: play with a chemistry set, play ball, visit the library, build a rocket, write a short story together, hike, go to a museum, amusement park, a movie, play, plant a garden, do a science experiment, read a book aloud (perhaps alternating pages--I read for two minutes; then he reads for two minutes.)

I'd ask if he'd appreciate being able to email or phone me if he had something he wanted to ask or tell me.

3. We'd meet either regularly or irregularly, in-person and/or by phone, email, or SkypeVideo.

When it felt right, I'd ask questions to help understand what he's dealing with, practically and psychologically. Yes, sometimes, I'd offer advice. Other times, I'd just play facilitator.

4. If I felt the relationship was insufficiently rewarding to him or me, I'd gently and tactfully sever it and find someone else to mentor. Mentoring is a great gift to a kid and I'd want to give it to someone who is really benefiting from it.