"Am I Too Old To Go Back to School?"

Even some people as young as 30 worry they're too old to go back to college or graduate school. They may fear they won't fit in socially, will have forgotten too much of what they previously learned, will learn too slowly, and or forget too quickly. 

Many articles have been written on returning students but they tend toward patronizing reassurance. But their fears are often rational and shouldn't be brushed off gratuitously. In my PsychologyToday.com article today, I try to give them fair attention.

Should You Go Back To School?: Questions to Ask Before Returning to College or Graduate School

My PsychologyToday.com article today asks questions to help a person decide whether it's wise for to go back to college or graduate school. HERE is the link.

Video of Marty Nemko's UC Berkeley Talk, "Eight Career Truths That May Not Be So True"

I'm flattered that UC Berkeley Extension has posted both the complete video and a 3-minute highlight video of my recent talk there: Eight Career Truths That May Not Be So True. Both are below. And HERE is an augmented print transcript of the talk.

The full talk (It's an hour long.)


A 3 1/2-minute excerpt.  

How to Do Life: Life Advice I Wish My Parents Had Given Me

Here's my latest AOL piece: How to Do Life: What I Wish My Parents Told Me.

Note, it's actually quite different than the similarly titled piece of mine, 10 Life Lessons Guaranteed to Advance Your Career that appeared last week on USNews.com, Yahoo!, and Business Insider.

Advice to an Honest Man Whose Life is a Mess

Someone emailed me today saying his life is a mess, but rather than blaming it on others, he was wonderfully honest in acknowledging his weaknesses.

I reproduce his letter here and my response to him. I hope that you'll find both to be interesting.

Hi Marty:

I am a 40 year old guy. I have a high school education. I did not do well in high school. I work at a low paying job. I do not have good people skills. I don't have many friends and people don't seem to reach out to get to know me. I have not had a girlfriend in years. I have always had trouble dating. I am probably of average intelligence. I suffer from depression. I was diagnosed with a learning disability. I am probably above average in looks. I have never been promoted in a job. I have been fired a few times. I have to take anti-depressant medications..Wellbutrin. People tell me that I talk to much at times..at work.. Sometimes I steal small items at work. Candy Bars. I am suspicious that my boss may know, but chooses not to say anything. I don't steal anything over 4-5 dollars at most. There is a good community college near where I live. What should I do to pull my live together? What books can I read to improve myself? I tend to act out at times and try to influence people..maybe overstepping my boundaries. I grew up with a mentally ill mother. I have always had trouble dating. I tend to have a high voice and even though I am not gay some women tell me I sound ike a woman. People tell me that I talk to fast.

That is all.

Thanks.

Scott

Dear Scott,

How fantastically introspective you are!!!!!! Great. That's the most important step to improvement. I'd recommend that you:

1. You make friends mainly by putting yourself in places where you're likely to meet good friends (perhaps at a college, church, or where you volunteer) by asking people about themselves, listening carefully, sharing some things about yourself, and, in general, being kind.

2. Constantly remind yourself to speak in the lowest part of your vocal range and slowly: Imagine that you were playing the part of a highly respected CEO, or Barack Obama.

3. Never talk for more than 30 to 60 seconds without shutting up or asking a question. In any conversation, be sure to talk only 30 to 50% of the time--the other person will fill in. Let there be silence in the conversation rather than you jabbering on.

4. Never steal again, literally or figuratively. Make absolute integrity your mantra. You cheapen yourself with every candy bar. In the end, you'll feel better about yourself AND it may well help your career and personal life.

5. Your desire to influence people comes from one or two instincts: the desire to prove your worthiness in the world and to help others. Both are worthy impulses. But especially if you're a person of just average intelligence and one who talks too fast (and thus probably comes to judgments too quickly,) your advice will often be wrong and/or unwanted. Most people--unless exceptionally secure--will not tolerate advice unless it is asked for.

6. Remembering the advice in #1 through 4, build a network of influential people by volunteering for organizations in which the other volunteers are well-connected people, whom if they like you, can hire you or recommend you be hired for a better position than you currently hold.

7. With regard to meeting a woman, since you do better in writing than verbally, I suggest you use online dating services such as match.com. Write your profile candidly and humanly. Post one or two current pictures of you that ARE representative of what you really look like--remember the honesty rule? When you respond to women's emails, do so with humanity and curiosity.

8. Read many articles on my website. They're all free and offer important guidance on career, personal growth, and living the well-led life.

How's that sound?

Marty Nemko