Sunday, August 31, 2014

The Present and Future of Life Extension: Aubrey de Grey lays out the path.

Aubrey de Grey believes that, in the foreseeable future, the average healthy lifespan could well exceed 100... if we get our heads out of the sand.

De Grey is in a position to know. The Cambridge Ph.D. is Chief Science Officer of the SENS Research Foundation, editor-in-chief of the academic journal Rejuvenation Research, and co-author of Ending Aging. The late Dr Sherwin Nuland, eminent expert on aging, called de Gray a “brilliant, beneficent man of goodwill, who wants only for civilization to fulfill the highest hopes he has for its future.”

My interview with Aubrey de Grey is my article today. HERE is the link.

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Not-Obvious Career Truths

I’ll soon be giving a talk, Not-Obvious Career Truths: Nine things I’ve learned from having been career coach to 4,600 people. In my article today, I give an advance look at what I'm planning to say. HERE is the link.

Friday, August 29, 2014

The Case for Job Seekers Practicing Radical Honesty

There's understandable temptation for job seekers to stretch the truth in their resume and interviews. But in my article, I argue that not only is that unethical, it's likely to backfire. HERE is the link.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

When No One Flirts With You: Remedying a flirt-free life

Even if you’re not looking for a relationship, it can be dispiriting to feel that people don’t flirt with you. 

If you feel unflirted with, my article today might help. HERE is the link. 

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Career Advice for a History BA Who Loves Playing the Guitar

The editor-in-chief of AOL Jobs asked me to write a piece today to try to help a liberal arts BA who majored in history and loves playing the guitar. He has $133,000 in college loans and the only job he's been able to get is menial work in a hospital cafeteria.  HERE is what I wrote.

Getting Past Regrets: Woulda Coulda Shoulda

So many people have regrets:  If only I had taken (or not taken) that job. If only I invested (or didn’t invest) in that. If only I had gone (or not gone) to grad school. If only I married (or didn’t marry) that person.

Yes, it’s usually good advice to stop beating yourself up and start moving forward. But  what if you can’t stop yourself from wallowing in regret?  My article today attempts to help. HERE is the link.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Succession Planning: Finding and Grooming Your Replacement

Whether you're a clerk or a CEO, the time to leave will arrive. Often that's not easy, practically or psychologically. 

My article today offers a step-by-step approach to choosing your successor so you feel good about it. HERE is the link.

Monday, August 25, 2014

Sick and Tired of Your Messy Place?

With everyone busier, it’s easy to let your house become a sty. Sink dishes piled up? That’s nothing. We’re talking the whole house piled up.

My article offers both practical and psychological tips on how to finally get your place cleaned up. HERE is the link.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Stickball: In praise of nostalgia

To encourage people to take a moment to savor in detail a nostalgic moment in their lives, in my article today, I relive a game of stickball that I played at age 12 with my best friend, David. HERE is the link.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Driving While Relaxed: Eight techniques for replacing road rage with commute calm.

A key way that government is trying to force us out of our cars and into mass transit is to build no more freeways despite the population increase. So our commutes are ever longer and more stressful. My article offers eight ways to reduce the stress of driving. HERE is the link. 

Friday, August 22, 2014

Bored? 17 Antidotes to Apathy

Are you finding yourself with some extra time in your week? My article offers 17 antidotes to boredom. HERE is the link.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

The Queen of Denial: Might suppressing and even denying your problems be helpful?

Much psychotherapy is based on the whack-a-mole principle: Unless you explore the causes of rather than just tamp-down the problem, it will pop up elsewhere. Indeed, such psychotherapy has helped many people improve their lives or at least gain insight.

But an argument could be made in favor of tamping. I make that argument in my article today. HERE is the link.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Co-Coaching: An Alternative to Psychotherapy, Counseling or Coaching

Sometimes, rather than hiring a paid psychotherapist, counselor, or coach, it can be wiser to co-coach with a respected friend. In my article today, I make the case and explain how you might do it. HERE is the link.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Bright and Gifted Children: America's most underserved group

Perhaps redistributive "justice's" most pernicious side effect has been the reallocation of funds and other resources from high-achieving to low-achieving children. That's the contention of my article today. The article goes on to propose what society should do and what individual parents and grandparents of bright kids should do in the meantime. HERE is the link.

Monday, August 18, 2014

An Intimation: An alternative to a vacation and a staycation.

If you haven't yet taken a summer vacation, perhaps it's because nothing excites you enough to pull the trigger. 

Instead of a vacation or staycation, might you want to try an intimation? It's a series of activities to enhance your relationship with your special someone. It can be incorporated into a vacation or staycation or simply be a standalone series of activities you'd do. 

I suggest some intimation activities in the my article today. HERE is the link.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Do You Know Your Career Non-Negotiables?

Key to career contentment is getting your career non-negotiables met. But many people don't not know what they are. My article will help. HERE is the link.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

What Are Your Key Skills and Abilities?

An important step toward career success is to identify your key skills and abilities. My article helps you do that expeditiously. HERE is the link.

Friday, August 15, 2014

How to Help Your Unemployed or Underemployed Adult Child

Today, so many young adults are living with their parents, including those with college degrees. 

According to a report in The Atlantic, as of 2012, 53.6 percent of college graduates under 25 were unemployed or doing work that doesn’t require a college degree.

And to their parents’ frustration, many such young adults aren’t exactly killing themselves to find professional-level work. They may work as a barista or cab driver but their parents didn’t spend a fortune on college for that.

My article today offers ways parents can help jump-start their adult child's career. HERE is the link. 

Thursday, August 14, 2014

In Praise of Solo Practitioners

Many private practices are merging into larger entities and in my article today, I argue that's often bad for the consumer. I also offer my thoughts on how to choose a professional: doctor, lawyer, etc. HERE is the link.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Psychological Aspects of Acting

For many people, acting is a compelling career or hobby and filled with emotion--and not just on stage.

My article today describes some of acting’s psychological up- and downsides in hopes it might help you decide if acting is something you’d like to pursue.

HERE is the link. 

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

The psychology of gardening

Gardening is one of the most popular hobbies. My article today explores why it deserves its popularity. HERE is the link.

Monday, August 11, 2014

For You, Will That "Dream" Job or Career be a Dream or Nightmare?

Sometimes a dream job or career doesn't live to expectations. It may even turn out to be a nightmare. 

My article today offers tips on how to assess how happy you're likely to be in your "dream" job or career. HERE is the link.

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Disinheriting, Being Disinherited.

Family is often fraught and moreso when a spouse or child gets disinherited. I hope my PsychologyToday article today can prevent some pain. 

HERE is the link.

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Old People Doing Good

We tend to write-off old people. But, at their best, they can be a much needed balm for our ever more harried lives. 

In my article today, I write an ode to kindly older folks plus a list of kindly activities that older people may have more time to bestow. HERE is the link.

Friday, August 8, 2014

The Personal Slogan: A low-risk way to improve your life.

Slogans have power over us: Think how many people bought BMW because it is “the Ultimate Driving Machine,” chose Energizer over Duracell batteries because “it keeps going and going and going,” flew United because it “flies the friendly skies.” ate Wheaties because it’s "The Breakfast of Champions,” rented from Avis because “We Try Harder” and insured with Allstate because “You’re in good hands with Allstate.”

If you develop a customized slogan to motivate you toward a personal goal, who knows, it may help you achieve it. It certainly won't cost you anything. My article walks you through a little process for creating your personal slogan.  

HERE is the link.

Thursday, August 7, 2014

An Autistic Person Performs

The latest show I've co-written with Jeffrie Givens is "Retard!" It tells her story from when she was called retarded by both children and her school to today, when she has been diagnosed with autism.

I've been her career coach and musical performance coach and here is a sample from the show.  I accompany on the piano.  

I haven't yet figured out how to keep the video from rolling over to my previous videos. So, after you've watched this, you may want to press "Stop."

The Perfect Office Creating an optimal environment for your practice.

If you see clients, whether as a psychologist, lawyer, financial planner, whatever, you, of course, want your clients to feel comfortable and to trust you. Of course, nothing takes the place of kind competence but how you set up your office can get you off on the right or wrong foot.

In my article today, I describe how I set up my career counseling office. You might well not want to or be able to do all I’ve done but I hope that you’ll find at least something of value. 

HERE is the link.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

The De-Paying of America: What to do about the accelerating conversion of paid jobs into unpaid ones.

Guess this person’s salary: He is Assistant Clinical Professor of Medicine at the prestigious University of California, San Francisco. His salary is $0.

In recent years, I’ve observed an acceleration of jobs that have been converted from paid to unpaid or pittance-paid: jobs to internships, jobs to volunteer work, full-time well-paying secure jobs to temporary, unbenefitted contract work. 

My article explores this a bit but, alas, doesn't propose solutions--because I can't think of any that seem realistic. Anyone care to suggest something? 

Perhaps it's better to post it on the site than here---it gets more readers. HERE is the link.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Why Living in the Moment is So Potent

"Live in the moment" is a cliché.  It's also hyperbolic---After all, learning from the past and planning for the future are helpful.  

Yet "live in the moment" is a most useful four-word philosophy. That's what my article today is about. HERE is the link.

Monday, August 4, 2014

A One-Minute Course in Anger Management

Most people who have anger issues hate themselves for losing their temper but can’t make themselves stop. 

My article today offers a strategy for controlling your anger. HERE is the link.

Sunday, August 3, 2014

In Praise of a Normal Day

A normal day is underappreciated.  My article today helps us realize how wonderful normalcy can be. HERE is the link.

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Routines Can Ease a Busy Life: Ritualizing can make you calmer and more efficient.

Routines can ease a busy life and make you more efficient. In my article today, I share my daily routine and ask five questions that may help you develop your own. HERE is the link.

Friday, August 1, 2014

Thoughts On Aging, Dying, and Legacy

I thought you might like an advance look at my next column in the Mensa publication, The Intelligencer. It includes the best ideas that were in my seven recent articles on aging.

Thoughts About Aging, Dying, and Legacy 

My mom died recently, which triggered thoughts about aging, dying, and legacy. Here are some of them. 

Make each heartbeat count.  When your second parent dies, it makes too clear that you’re moving toward the end of life’s conveyer belt. Most older people decide to play more, work less. But consider Francis Crick, co-discoverer of the genomic double helix who worked in his hospital bed on the day he died of cancer. Similarly, Isaac Asimov had written 450 books and was asked, “If you had six months to live, what would you do?” His answer: Type faster.

Indeed, a surprising number of people would rather work until the end. You might ask why? Imagine there were two clones of you, both with months left to live. One mainly played golf and video games. The other mainly did the most societally beneficial work possible: continuing on the job, mentoring, writing a helpful blog, etc. Obviously, the latter’s life was more meaningful. 

Give wisely. Donate to a charity where dollars have big ripple effects, for example,  a nonprofit serving needy gifted kids such as Supporting the Emotional Needs of Gifted (SENG.) As Mensans know, high-IQ people have great but sometimes unrealized potential to make a difference in the world.

Check out this New York Times article for more guidance on how to give wisely. 

Think three times before retiring. Yes, some people love retirement but many don’t. They’re bored, feel useless, and have difficulty spending so much time with their spouse. They may also outlive their retirement. You can always retire later but once you retire, it’s like the Roach Motel: You can check in but you can’t check out. 

Forgive yourself.  Most people, as they get older, decline physically and mentally. For example, they may develop a case of CRS: can’t remember stuff. Forgive yourself. Your decline is usually compensated for by your experience and, ideally, wisdom. 

Have a bulletproof will or trust. When money is at stake, some seemingly nice people will try to overturn a will. You might start with a do-it-yourself one, for example, using WillmakerPlus, but get it bulletproofed by an estate lawyer. 

Have an advance medical directive. Dying is rarely much fun. If you’re in agony and fed with a feeding tube, do you really want extraordinary measures taken to keep you alive? Without an advanced medical directive, that’s what they’ll do. My mom had such a directive, and when things got bad, we put her in in-home hospice: She could live out her days at home and a nurse visited her regularly to be sure she was comfortable but they didn’t do any probing, painful procedures to extend what was already a very poor-quality life.

Make sure your will and advance medical directive are in the hands of someone you trust who’ll know when you’re incapacitated or dead. 

Plan your burial.  Many people get conservative when it comes to dying: have a separate ceremony at a funeral home and another at the gravesite. Usually expensive and unnecessary. Preplan and you’ll avoid your next of kin having to, while in grief’s throes, withstanding a funeral home salesperson pitching you a fancy funeral: “You wouldn’t want to be cheap with your mother, now would you?” Your funeral’s value is determined by the warmth of the ceremony and celebration of your life, not on how much is spent on the funeral.  My wife, when she dies, after direct burial at the cemetery, wants the attendees to come back to our house for a brief celebration of her life over food, drink and ‘50s music. 

Dying well.  We still don’t allow people to decide when to die. That strikes me as a terribly unfair intrusion of government into one of our most personal decisions. Fortunately, some physicians will give a terminally ill person a final cocktail of tranquilizers and sleeping pills. And if you can't access such a physician, a right-to-die orgnization, Final Exit Network, makes available the most comfortable ways to go. 

Marty Nemko's bio is in Wikipedia

My Favorite Quotations About Sex

I reviewed thousands of quotations about sex and found 29 that I believe are particularly worthy of your time. I aggregate them in my article today. HERE is the link.