I've thought a fair amount about how to get people to stop abusing drugs and alcohol: I used to be a drug counselor and in my 25 years as a career and life coach, I've had many clients with substance abuse problems. Here's my current thinking:
- For some abusers, the goal should be moderation, for others, stopping completely. Some people can be functional alcohol/drug users--if they have the discipline to keep it moderate. Others cannot function well-enough using drugs/alcohol even modestly--either because their job or life requires high-level functioning or because they lack the discipline to keep their use moderate.
Dr. Michael Edelstein, a San Francisco cognitive therapist who works with addiction problems (www.threeminutetherapy.com) says, "Successful moderation usually requires abstinence for months, then moving to moderation, and defining in advance what moderation will consist of: e.g., only one drink per hour when out socially and none when alone."
- Twelve-step programs help some people. Most likely to be helped are those who need structure, group support, aren't particularly intellectual, and consider themselves religious or spiritual.
- Other people may be more likely to stop with cognitive therapy: correcting their erroneous thinking: e.g., "I'm more creative or likable when I'm high, "It so helps me cope with life that it outweighs drug use's liabilities," "My kids won't be affected," and most often and powerful: "I must satisfy my urge to feel good right now."
To find a non-12-step self-help group, you might try SmartRecovery.
- Sometimes, a physician can prescribe medication to help you stop. To find one that specializes in helping people with addictions: click HERE
Note: That is merely an unscreened list of members of the American Society for Addiction Medicine. As in choosing any important health care provider, I recommend Googling prospective physicians' names plus the word
reviews, for example, "Timmen Cermak" reviews.
(He's a recent president of the California Society for Addiction Medicine, who, in my Google search, yielded good but not great reviews.) Then call your top three choices and ask the receptionist for the names of
other excellent addiction medicine specialists. The doc most often named is usually a fine bet for a first appointment. Then use your intuition to decide whether to see that physician again or try a different one.
Keep front-and-center the ways your life would be better if you stopped, and the price you've paid for your substance abuse. Edelstein recommends going further: "Five times daily, without fail, vividly read and write the pros and cons of kicking. Don't stop this discipline when you're doing better."Some people stop only because of a relationship: for example, they fall in love, get pregnant, or their sibling stopped using drugs and the abuser didn't want to be the only family member with a substance abuse problem.Alas, some people stop only when they've hit rock bottom: they're so exhausted from the toll of living the addict lifestyle, that they just are sick and tired of being sick and tired. Edelstein urges, "Refuse to give up. You can succeed on the 100th try."
At the risk of sounding like a goody two-shoes, there really are ways to get high on life without drugs. For example, I get real pleasure from helping my clients, writing, hosting my radio show, playing in the garden, or walking my doggie, Einstein.
How could you fill your life with enjoyable activities that don't have negative side effects?
