Thursday, May 25, 2017

Answering Job Ads: An underrated tool if done right.

Job seekers are told to emphasize networking over answering ads. But done right, answering ads can often pay off. My PsychologyToday.com article today explains why and how.

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

46 Uncommon But Useful Words

As my PsychologyToday.com contribution today, I define 46 uncommon but useful words.

Monday, May 22, 2017

About to Get Fired

As my PsychologyToday.com contribution today, I offer an edited transcript of the exchange between me and a caller to my radio program who is about to get fired.

The Retirement Party: A short short story

My PsychologyToday.com contribution today is a short-short story that explores what goes through Charlie's mind at his retirement party. It addresses the tension between authenticity and being socially correct.

Sunday, May 21, 2017

The Bar-Mitzvah: A short-short story about being judgmental.

As my PsychologyToday.com contribution today, I offer a short-short story that tells the thoughts of a person attending a bar-mitzvah. Does he deserve opprobrium as "judgmental" or praise for his discernment?

Saturday, May 20, 2017

"Do You Take This..." A short-short story about the decision to marry

Here's a short-short story that tells what's going through a couple's mind as the officiant asks them to take the marriage vows.  That's my PsychologyToday.com contribution today.

Thursday, May 18, 2017

"Are You Going Crazy?" A short-short story about middle-class stress

As my PsychologyToday.com contribution today, I offer a short-short story about middle-class stress. 
 
Note: This photo is merely of someone staring. He bears no relation to the story's protagonist.

Managing People

Today, a career counseling client told me he’d like to move from being an individual contributor to a manager of people. 

But while he's in-step with current management beliefs—be collaborative and a good listener---he fears he’s too nice and that smart, strong supervisees could steamroll him. 

He doesn’t want to spend the time and money on an MBA or other extensive management training. So he asked me if I could offer some streamlined advice. I share what I said in my PsychologyToday.com article today.

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Straight Talk for Employees 50+

Much advice to older employees is Pollyannish. In my PsychologyToday.com article today, I attempt to offer more helpful advice.

Sunday, May 14, 2017

Doubt: 19 Questions with answers less certain than many people believe.

Today, we seem ever more polarized. Of course, the U.S. presidential election brought this into full relief but apart from that.

Excessive zeal leads to excessive closed-mindedness, intolerance, and enmity.  
In a small (if lengthy) attempt to engender moderation, my PsychologyToday.com article today lists some of the day’s more contentious positions and reasons why moderate positions and certainly respect for differing opinions is justified.

Thursday, May 11, 2017

12 Questions We Should Ask

Asking the right questions can get you information you want. That can also make the person feel important or cared about.

My PsychologyToday.com article today lists a dozen questions that can be particularly potent.

This article is part of a series. The others are:
10 Expressions Everyone Should Stop Saying Now.
13 Things Everyone Should Stop Doing.
13 Things Many People Don’t Do but Should.
11 Questions Everyone Should Ask Themselves



Come See My One-Man Show, Odd Man Out

I'm doing my one-man-show, Odd Man Out this Saturday afternoon.

It's a bit of a misnomer to call it a one-man show because my wife  Barbara Nemko pops up periodically to annoy me. Plus, awesome singer Jeffrie Givens and I tell her amazing story in words and song. The word "amazing" is overused but not in Jeffrie's case.

The show has been reviewed twice, in the Berkeley Daily Planet and in the Napa Valley Register. 

The performance is this Saturday, May 13, at 1:00 PM at the Octopus Literary Salon: 2101 Webster St., Oakland, CA. $10. For more info and tix, click HERE.




Saturday, May 6, 2017

Dual-Income Couples: Challenges and Solutions

I describe some challenges and solutions for dual-income couples in my PsychologyToday.com article today.

Fired: A true story about a comeback

Movies, TV shows, and magazines tell of people whose lives were a zero and now at a 10. Far more realistic is the true story I tell in my PsychologyToday.com article today.

Thursday, May 4, 2017

The Case for a Career as a Songwriter

As a thought experiment, I decided to try to make a case for pursuing one of the careers least likely to generate even a survival living: songwriter. I post that as my PsychologyToday.com article today.

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Developing Drive: Building motivation depends on why it's low.

Developing drive is among my clients' most central problems. In my PsychologyToday.com article today, I offer three prescriptions for addressing the problem .

Seed: A short-short story

We can be motivated by the thought we're planting seeds. I tell a short-short story about that as my PsychologyToday.com contribution today.

Sunday, April 30, 2017

Ignored: A short-short story

As my PsychologyToday.com contribution today, I offer a short-short story about a spouse who reached the boiling point.

Saturday, April 29, 2017

A Journal Entry About Rumination: A short-short story

My PsychologyToday.com contribution today is a short-story about a ruminator.

"Who Am I?" How I help clients find a career...and themselves

Today, a career counseling client started our first session by asking me, “How do I know who I am?”

As my PsychologyToday.com contribution today, I offer a fleshed-out version of my answer.


Friday, April 28, 2017

Coaching Highly Accomplished People

Much has been written on counseling and coaching in general but far less on coaching highly accomplished people. Such people are my practice's core clientele and so, in my PsychologyToday.com article today, I share what has been most helpful in working with high achievers.

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Monday, April 24, 2017

Will Humans Be Necessary?

I explore some of the implications for people in an ever more automated world. That's my PsychologyToday.com article today.

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Closing: A short-story story about aging, luck, and hypocrisy

My latest short-short story tells of an attempt at a last hurrah. It's my PsychologyToday.com contribution today.

Norma: A short-short story about the ethics of stealing from the powerful.

When is it ethical to steal from the powerful and perhaps even undeservedly powerful. I explore that in a short-short story that's my PsychologyToday.com contribution today.

Saturday, April 22, 2017

16 Tweets on Relationships

I've grown to believe that short helps more than long. To that end, my PsychologyToday.com contribution today consists of 16 of my tweets that are about relationships.

Friday, April 21, 2017

My Favorite Tweets on Education



We spend billions to improve education yet we're legalizing pot, which now is proven to damage brains. (Don't trust the activists, which are heavily funded by Big Tobacco. See the  new National Academy of Sciences metaevaluation.)


In the name of rigor, courses focus too much on the hard and arcane, with too little weighing of whether that’s the best use of student time.


Most people would rather be entertained than educated. So sugar-coat.


How-to books that claim “It worked for me, it can work for you” aren’t helpful because typical readers aren’t as smart and driven as are book authors.


You’ll likely learn more of enduring value from an hour of wise googling than from any course. 


Banks are forced to modify, that is, take a loss on mortgages but colleges, which don't disclose risks, wring every penny even from its many unemployable grads.


College tuition up 1,200% since 1978, That’s four  times the inflation rate. There’s little learning—36% grow not at all in critical thinking.  44% don't graduate even if given six years, and 1/2 are un-underemployed. Crazy.

I read these aloud on YouTube.


Thursday, April 20, 2017

Tweets on My Political and Economic Views



These tweets summarize my political and economic views:

Ever wonder whether the other side might be right? Worth considering.

The large conversion of full-time benefited jobs to gigs occurs largely because government mandates have made it cost-prohibitive to hire an American.

Can there ever be enough jobs for America's 250 million, 1/2 with IQ of under 100? That’s unlikely in an information-based, global economy.

Half the U.S. isn't working or working at a lower-level than they could. And millions more dislike their job. I see revolution possible.

Ironic that we derive our views on how to improve the world mainly from two groups that have opted out of the real world: professors and journalists.

Ever more news commentators are not experts but entertainers.

It is dangerous to read only current thought. It's too reflective of today’s zeitgeist, e.g redistribution vs merit.

It’s remarkable that with so many lenses through which to view the world, colleges and the media so focus on just the Marxist three: race, class, and gender

Social scientists tend to be more activist than scientist. Wrapping ideology in statistics doesn't make social "science" science.

Why is democracy the sacred cow when the majority in the U.S. read below 8th grade level, don't know government’s three branches, and believe in angels?

Government can't claim to care about the poor when it creates lotteries and casinos that prey mainly on the poor, who can least afford loss.

It’s jingoistic that politicians sing "Buy American!" The foreign worker who “takes" a U.S. job improves his life more than the American loses.

Seeing an individual’s pain causes irrational policy decisions as well as personal ones.

I've just had yet another client who won't look for work until all the unemployment checks run out. Is that what our tax dollars should be for?

An article in TIME: “Debt is growing at four times the rate reported by government. We are already bankrupt."

Laws, policies, and practices that further equality over merit are short-term feel-goods and long-term stabs into society.

I fear we’ll keep trying to make everything equal until everyone has nothing.

We continue to ignore the devastating drop in boys' achievement and well-being, an unfair double-standard.

If girls are “underrepresented” in STEM—massive redress. But men die 5 years younger and there’s much more money for women’s health. Huge double-standard.

The double standard: If a statement favors redistribution, it gets praised. If favoring meritocracy, it's usually censored and/or censured.

We are in a censorious era: Say or write something politically incorrect and you're censured or fired, McCarthyism from the Left, and far more pervasive. Not all wisdom lives left of center.

I read synopses of the 50 top-rated movies for adults & kids. Nearly all push redistribution to Have-Nots. In reality, most Haves earned it.

Our resources have been so heavily reallocated to the intractable: inequality and climate change. The unbiased science indicates that the money and effort could be more wisely spent.

Every medic knows that limited resources do the most good when spent not on the sickest but on those with the greatest potential to profit.

Not withstanding Temp Trump, whom I don’t believe will finish his term, we're becoming an autocratically intolerant Leftist idiocracy.

We are in a leftward era. So to avoid more wasted effort, conservatives and libertarians today should  reallocate time to activities that will encounter weaker headwinds.

Society's having replaced merit with redistributive priorities has led me to spend most discretionary time on classical music, growing flowers, etc.

HERE is a YouTube of me reading these aloud.

39 Tweets to Improve Your Worklife

Sometimes, a bit of advice can be a time-effective way to improve. As my PsychologyToday.com contribution today, I offer the 39 tweets from among my 4100 that I believe are most likely to improve your worklife.

18 Tweets for Your Emotional Health

Sometimes, a bit of advice can be a most time-effective tool for growth. From my 4,100 tweets, I selected the 18 I believe most likely to abet one's emotional health.  That's my PsychologyToday.com contribution today.

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Employer and Job-Seeker Ploys

Employment expert Claudio Fernandez-Araoz described a job interview as “a conversation between two liars.” No wonder that 1/3 of new hires are no longer there within six months. 

In a small effort to help ensure a better match between job seeker and employer, My PsychologyToday.com article today describes three employer and three job-seeker ploys and how to foil them.

Glass Man: A short-short story about lookism, loneliness, and reclusiveness

As my PsychologyToday.com contribution today, I've posted a short-short story about an unattractive man's unusual responses to being lonely.

Saturday, April 15, 2017

"Should I Kill Myself?" A short-short story about the "duty to die"

My doctoral advisor and now friend, Michael Scriven, believes that we have a duty to die when the cost to the health care system and emotional, temporal, or financial cost to our family is greater than our quantity and quality of life justifies. 

My PsychologyToday.com contribution today explores the issue in a short-short story.

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Self-Help: A short-short story about health care

I offer a short-short story about health care as my PsychologyToday.com contribution today.

Toppling the Boss: Ethical ways to oust a bad boss and to protect yourself if you're a good one.

Many a good (and bad) boss have been ousted because of a supervisee's machinations. As my PsychologyToday.com article today, I offer ways an employee can extirpate a malignant boss from your life and, if you're a good boss, protect yourself from unfair chicanery.

Monday, April 10, 2017

"Pig" A short-short story about struggle with weight

A man's lifetime struggle between love of food and desire to control his weight. I explore that in my PsychologyToday.com contribution today.

A Bomb: A short-short story about suppressed anger.

I offer a short-short story on suppressed anger as my PsychologyToday.com contribution today

Friday, April 7, 2017

Ways of BeingTactful...and When Not to Use Them

As today's PsychologyToday.com contribution, I list times when it's wise to be direct but opine that various degrees of sugar-coating are more often wise. I list a number of such tactics.

Thursday, April 6, 2017

The Tutor: a short-short story

As my PsychologyToday.com contribution today, I wrote a short-short story that explores whether one should choose a career as a researcher.

The Gift: A short-short story about how much to sacrifice

As my PsychologyToday.com contribution today, I offer a short-short story about a person deciding how much to sacrifice for a stranger.

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Harvard, Schmarvard

Recently, I wrote What Colleges Don’t Tell You, an attempt to help the college- and graduate-school bound make a more eyes-open decision about whether to attend college.

In my PsychologyToday.com article today, I assume you’ll be going to college or graduate school. I address two important, too often unasked questions: 

Should you attend the most selective institution possible?

Should you take a gap year to reenergize and gain real-world experience?

The New Job Search Principles

In recent years, I've noticed that the old job-search tactics are working less well. Three new ones are more helpful. I describe them in my PsychologyToday.com article today.

Saturday, April 1, 2017

Quicker: Most of your tasks really don't need to take that long

As my PsychologyToday.com article today, I give many examples of how many of life's time-sucking tasks needn't take that long.