Making the Most of Counseling

Two identical twins could see the same counselor for the same issue yet one twin derives far more benefit. My Psychology Today article today offers ways to make the most of your counseling, whether career, personal, relationship, whatever

Reflections on My Life as Career Coach

I’m in my 36th year as a career and personal coach, having had the privilege (and yes, that's not just a cliche, it's true) of helping more than 6,000 clients with a central part of their life.

Perhaps it's time to share some candid reflections in hope they might be helpful not just to career counselors and coaches but to any helping professional as well as to clients. I offer those reflections in my Psychology Today article today.

“What Are You Sad About?” How answering that question can help you get happier

During a session today, I asked a question I had never asked before: “What are you sad about?” The client raised a number of new issues: about a relationship, an ailment, even the meaning of it all.

I then asked a friend the same question, which also unearthed new and surprising concerns. I then asked myself the same question and it too was evocative.

So, what are you sad about? It may be easier to answer that question if it's posed within categories and with an example. I do that in my Psychology Today article today.

Quick Not-Random Acts of Kindness: Easier and more beneficial

For decades, we’ve been urged to do random acts of kindness. But in today’s ever busier, more stressful times, it might be of value to offer examples of such acts that take little time or effort.  Plus, most of the following are not-random acts of kindness, making them even more beneficial. 

Donning my optimistic hat, bestowing a not-random act of kindness would benefit not just the recipient but encourage the person to do such kindnesses. Who knows? Maybe, with 1 x 1 = 2,  2 x 2 = 4,  4 x 4 = 16,  16 x 16 = 256,  256 x 256 = 655336,  65536 x 65536 = 42,949, 672, one not-random act of kindness let alone making that a habit, would mean you’re changing the world, much for the better.

My Psychology Today article today offers examples of a quick not-random kindness.

Difficult Clients: Advice for counselors, and a wake-up call to clients

If you’re a helping professional, chances are you’ve had difficult clients. My Psychology Today article today offers composite examples of difficult clients I’ve had and what has worked best in working with them.

And if you are a client or patient, perhaps you will see something of yourself in one or more of these, which might help you get more out of the relationship.

 

The Rise, Fall, and Rebirth of a Career Coach: Life lessons for all of us

My Psychology Today article today offers a composite of the experiences of career and life coaches and counselors I have known. It embeds life lessons for us all.

14 Nuggets from Psychology Today’s "Essential Reads"

Psychology Today's editors select a small percentage of its blog posts as Essential Reads. Since the previous time I posted a group of nuggets from Essential Reads, the editors have selected hundreds of Essential Reads.

I've reviewed those to select 14 ideas that seem particularly useful and fresh. Each is followed by my comment.

What You Might Say in 8 Ticklish Situations

Yesterday, I offered some communication tips.  In my Psychology Today article today, I incorporate them in a sample response to eight common ticklish situations. Each response is followed by the thinking behind it.

Communication Musts for People of Influence

I’ve written much on communication. My Psychology Today article today offers a distillation of what my clients and readers have found most helpful plus some new ideas. 

Helping Your Adult Child Grow Up

Despite spending years and a fortune at college, more than half of people 18 to 29 are living with their parents. That’s the highest percentage since the Great Depression.

Of course, that can frustrate both the young adults and their parents. Despite major efforts, the parents may even feel guilt, that it’s at least partly their fault. Ironically, good parents may be more likely to feel that way.

My Psychology Today article today offers thoughts on what a parent might do to help their adult child launch their adult life.

3 Concepts That Good Thinkers Use

Life is decision-making. Improving the quality of your decisions, of course, improve your life, both professionally and personally.

In my Psychology Today article today, I offer three concepts that good decision-makers, good thinkers, use.

Making the Most of Online Classes

We've mainly taken courses in-person. And even when online courses were an option, many people, especially the social, opted to trade the hassles of getting to campus, child care, etc., for the energy that in-person classes tend to evoke. Indeed, the completion rates for online courses has been low—10 to 20 percent.

But now, amid the COVID restrictions, the in-person option is usually not available, My Psychology Today article today offers ten tips to help you not only complete your courses but perhaps learn at least as much as you would have in the in-person version.

The Case for Romantic Fantasy

As Valentine's Day approaches, we may be reminded that romance yields some of life’s highest highs and, alas, some of its lows. Paulo Coelho, author of The Alchemist, wrote, "I'm not saying that love always takes you to heaven. It can become a nightmare. That said, it's worth the risk." 

But for the less adventurous or those in a monogamous relationship, especially in the time of COVID, sometimes it can be wise to leave your romantic visions in the realm of fantasy. My Psychology Today article today offers some questions that may evoke a fantasy you’d like to enjoy.

14 Valentine’s Day Actions That Beat Roses and Chocolate

In the beginning of a relationship, flowers and candy may be appreciated despite being so standard. But later, for your gift to feel less obligatory and more important, something less cliched is required. My Psychology Today article today offers 10 acts of kindness and four non-cliched gifts that may be particularly welcome.

Misunderstood?

Recently, I posted 35 Questions to Help You Know Yourself or Others Better.  One of its questions was, “What do people misunderstand about you?” My Psychology Today article today offers two composite letters from people who feel misunderstood.

A Meditation on Birth

While I was pruning a shrub, I noticed some pillow filling on the ground beneath. I pulled it away and saw pieces of cloth and more pillow filling. At the bottom, there were six pink squirrel or rat newborns. I replaced the nesting but feared that the mother, smelling my hand, might abandon the nest. Fortunately, the next day, I saw the mother squirrel burrowing under the nesting.

That reminded me of the miracle of birth and the life lessons that inhere. I share them as my Psychology Today article today.

35 Questions to help you better know yourself or someone else.

My Psychology Today article today offers 35 questions to help you to better know yourself or someone you'd like to know better.

Getting More Done: Ideas for efficiency and avoiding procrastination

Getting things done feels good. That's not just because you’re more effectively negotiating life and doing your share — It feels good to cross something off your to-do list, far better than feeling guilty about all that you should have done. Yet another plus: Staying busy distracts you from malaise that you can’t fix, at least for now.

If you’d like to get more done, perhaps one or more of the ideas in my Psychology Today article today will help.

How I Motivate Myself to Write So Much

The question I’m most often asked is not about career or relationships or parenting, it’s “How do you motivate yourself to write so often?” Indeed, a major writer’s organization has just invited me to give a talk on that topic. My Psychology Today article today summarizes what I’m planning to say.

Becoming Happier

For most people, happiness is the holy grail, Of course, the question is how to get happier? The ideas in my Psychology Today article today may not sufficiently help clinical mental illness sufferers, but these suggestions should be of value to people with garden-variety malaise.

Should You Take a Time-Out for Travel?

Imagine that you were asked, “You have six months to do whatever you want. What would you do?” The most common answer would likely be “travel.”

Yet a clear-eyed look at the pros and cons of extended travel may give some people pause. So as you contemplate the wisdom of stopping-out for travel when the COVID risk subsides, consider the pros and cons I describe in my Psychology Today article today.