Saturday, December 31, 2022
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Tuesday, December 13, 2022
My OTHER Just-Published Book, Soloists: Introverts and Outsiders Facing a Dilemma is now FREE
My OTHER just-published, illustrated book, Soloists: 126 Short-short stories of introverts & outsiders facing a dilemma is temporarily, on Kindle, FREE. The print version is just $9. I'd welcome your honest review of it on Amazon, even if to trash it: https://amzn.to/3WfKyk0
Monday, December 12, 2022
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Thursday, December 1, 2022
My new book was published today: Baby Steps: Doable ideas to improve your life
My new book was just published today: Baby Steps: Doable Ideas for Improving Your Life. It's available at THIS Amazon.com page.
Monday, November 28, 2022
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Tuesday, May 24, 2022
My new booklet is out: Soloists: 42 short-short stories about people who try to make it on their own.
Thursday, March 3, 2022
My First Commandment: Be happy now
Yes, "Be happy now" sounds cliched or unrealistic, but I make the case in my Medium.com article today.
Monday, February 28, 2022
Nuanced Words for "Worried:" Toward expressing what you mean to convey
You're worried. What word do you want to use to convey it? Perhaps one of these more nuanced variants of "worry" in my Psychology Today article today will accurately express it.
Sunday, February 27, 2022
Ideas for a Better Bucket List
Many people's bucket lists are conventional: perhaps going on safari
and eating at a Michelin-starred restaurant. Especially if you're
psychologically attuned, you might prefer one or more of those I offer in my Psychology Today article today.
Saturday, February 26, 2022
Nuanced Words for "Happy" and "Sad:" Conveying the feeling you want to express.
We're more likely to be understood when we use nuance in our language. Previous installments in this series offered nuanced words for “love” and “anger.” My Psychology Today article today offers some for "happy" and "sad."
Friday, February 25, 2022
11 Nuanced Words for "Anger:" Using language to convey the feeling you want to express.
If you’re going to express anger, it should reflect the nuance of your feeling. Sometimes, “angry” doesn’t quite do it.
My Psychology Today article today offers 11 more nuanced words for “angry.” See if one or more belongs in your verbal or written toolkit.Thursday, February 24, 2022
In Search of Simpler Times: How to make modern life less frenzied
Today, when you ask someone, “How are you?” you may hear a perfunctory "fine." But you may well hear: "Hangin' in." "Tired." “Slammed.” "Overwhelmed." Indeed, like many of my clients and friends, I find our modern times challenging.
In the supermarket, I saw a can of Simpler Times beer and thought, “Hmm, that's appealing.” My Psychology Today article today offers some thoughts on how to create a simpler time for ourselves in today’s far-from simple world.
Tuesday, February 22, 2022
Preventing Partnerships From Deteriorating: Romantic, business, exercise, tutoring, co-authoring
The partnership highway is littered with roadkill, not just romantic partners and business partners, but virtually any sort of partnership. After all, at the beginning, it’s easy to see the synergies, but individuals’ differences soon emerge, often causing conflict.
How can you boost the chances of your synergies outweighing the conflicts? My Psychology Today article today offers some advice.
Monday, February 21, 2022
8 When You Don’t Feel Like Doing It
As we enter tax season, we may avoid hairy but necessary activities. Of course, that’s not limited to taxes. It's anything you'd find unpleasant, or the technical term, yucky.
Whatever you’re tempted to procrastinate about, one of more of the eight tools I offer in my Psychology Today article today should help.
Sunday, February 20, 2022
It's Not Too Early to Plan Your Legacy
Even if you're young, drafting your legacy can help you live the life you aspire to. My Psychology Today article today makes the case and lists 14 possible legacy aspirations.
Friday, February 18, 2022
"My Pathetic Little Life:" A case study and questions that may help
Succeeding Solo: A short guide for people who do better on their own.
Much self-help advice assumes that homo sapiens is a social animal. Under-considered are people who prefer to go largely solo. My Psychology Today article today attempts a bit of remedy.
Thursday, February 17, 2022
Living With Doubt: Making Peace with Uncertainty
Certitude is comforting but elusive, and doubt can provoke anxiety. Consider this composite based on my clients, friends, and me.
I worry…about almost everything. Did I buy the right thing? Was I too tough or too nice? How hard should I work? How hard should I play? How much should I trust that person, even my wife?! Help!
Tuesday, February 15, 2022
How to Become More Productive
I was interviewed last week and, off the air, the host asked, "How the hell are you so productive?" My Psychology Today article today paraphrases my answer.
The Case for Laziness
Yesterday, my post was How to Become More Productive. As a counterpoint, my Psychology Today article today makes the case for laziness, although I do ask a few doubting-Thomas questions.
Making the Most of Gratitude, Acceptance, and Striving
The life well-led may reduce to balancing gratitude, acceptance, and striving.
Gratitude is important because there’s much to be grateful for that's easily forgotten. Acceptance is important because much is resistant to change. Striving is important because we should be growing and achieving.
To encourage your balancing that triad, list things that you should feel grateful for, are wise to accept, and should strive for.
To prompt your thinking, My Psychology Today article today offers some examples. They're derived from my clients, friends, and me.
Sunday, February 13, 2022
What Are You Looking Forward To? 29 things that could bring you out of the dump
Especially if you’re down in the dumps, you’d probably welcome something to pull you up. One thing that my clients have found helpful is rather simple: Just think of something you're looking forward to. Or if you can't think of anything, think of something you could do that you'd look forward to.
To illustrate and to trigger your thinking, my Psychology Today article today offers 29 possibilities.
My new book, Dialogues to Grow From has just been published
Quotes are a fast way to acquire life lessons and to deepen your understanding of how the world really works. But reading lists of quotes an be boring.
So, in my new slim book Dialogues to Grow From, I stitch together quotes from 21 pairs e.g., Bill & Hillary, Victor Davis Hanson & St. Matthew. even Woody Allen, Wanda Sykes, and Joan Rivers.
Until Thurs, the Kindle/e-book is free: https://amzn.to/3gFgprz Of course, it's not required but I'd welcome an honest review of it on Amazon.com
The Importance of Asking Why: It helps you understand another person...and maybe yourself
My Psychology Today article today offers "why" questions that can help you understand yourself better and, if you're trying to understand another person, give wordings that reduce the chances that you'll be perceived as invasive.
After each question, I offer a few possible answers that are drawn from my clients, friends, and me. Those answers demonstrate how helpful such questions can be.
Saturday, February 12, 2022
Should You Be More Competitive or Less?
A case can be made for being more competitive and less so. My Psychology Today article today asks questions to help you decide what's right for you.
Friday, February 11, 2022
8 Words of Love: Useful ways to express your feelings
Whether it's in your Valentine’s Day card or otherwise, you of course want to express your love as you mean to. My Psychology Today article today may help.
Wednesday, February 9, 2022
If Your World is Getting Smaller, Is That OK? A case study and four questions to help you decide.
It seems that more of my clients are choosing to shrink their world. My Psychology Today article today offers a case study. It then asks questions to help you decide if you want to keep your world small, and offers suggestions in case you want to take baby steps to interacting more.
Tuesday, February 8, 2022
Look in the Mirror: A tool for self-discovery and a motivator for change
We all look in the mirror: Good hair day? Another wrinkle? To give yourself a pep talk?
But there’s more to be seen in the mirror, and that can be enlightening and/or scary.
Dare to take a look, a good long look? My Psychology Today article today suggests things to look for, not just in appearance but as a window into who you are, and some ideas if you'd like to change
Why It’s Hard to Be Open-Minded: And three suggestions if you want to change.
Most people claim to be open-minded or at least aspire to be, but it’s not so easy. How open are we really to core views other than our own? A few examples: liberal vs conservative, religious vs atheist, or if you’re in psychology, psychodynamic versus cognitive-behavioral therapy.
And some people don’t want to be more open-minded, perhaps because they enjoy the certitude of their "rectitude," or because they feel they've sufficiently considered an issue and don’t want to spend more time on it.
But if you might want to become more open-minded, My Psychology Today article today may help.
Sunday, February 6, 2022
Work as a Way to Heal: Finding well-suited work and the motivation to pursue it.
Work is almost the best way to pull oneself out of the depths— Eleanor Roosevelt
Many more people find that well-suited work not only brings in money and provides meaning, it can be healing. My Psychology Today article today offers relatively easy ways to find well-suited work and to find the motivation to pursue it.
Saturday, February 5, 2022
Succeeding in Your First Professional Job
In this installment of The Quests series, my Psychology Today article today begins with a first-person report from "Jeremy," a composite of my clients' experiences. It embeds four important practices, and after "Jeremy's" report, I call them out.
Thursday, February 3, 2022
The Power of Rehearsing: How to use rehearsal in preparing for a meeting, date, doctor’s appointment, etc
We think of rehearsing for a performance, job interview, or wedding toast, but it can be helpful in other situations. I discuss in my Psychology Today article today.
The Power of a Pause: The surprising number of situations in which it's helpful
Taking an extra moment—so easy, so transient. How much difference could it make?
Well, taking just an extra second can often make quite a difference in many situations, from conversation to negotiation, eating to flirting.
Wednesday, February 2, 2022
Finding and Maintaining Diet Discipline
The previous installments in The Quests series are “Finding a Good Job,” “Finding and Deepening a Relationship,” and “Finding a Good Place to Live.”
My Psychology Today article today turns to finding and keeping diet discipline: consistently not consuming more calories than we think wise.
Tuesday, February 1, 2022
Finding and Growing Money
The previous installments in this The Quests series are on finding a good job, relationship, peace of mind, place to live, and diet discipline.
In my Psychology Today article today, we turn to money: how to get it, how to grow it.
Finding a Good Place to Live
This is the fourth installment in The Quests series. The previous ones are Landing a Good Job, Finding and Deepening a Relationship, and Finding Peace of Mind.
In my Psychology Today article today, we turn to finding a good place to live. As the previous installments did, this one begins with a composite first-person report from “Jeremy” based on my clients’ and friends’ experiences. Then, I call out the embedded principles and practices.
Sunday, January 30, 2022
Finding Peace of Mind
This is the third installment in a Psychology Today series, The Quests: The first was on finding a good job. The second was on finding and deepening a relationship.
Saturday, January 29, 2022
Finding and Deepening a Long-Term Relationship
This is the second installment in a series, The Quests: The first was on finding a good job.
My Psychology Today article today turns to the quest for a good long-term relationship.
Friday, January 28, 2022
Finding a Good Job: A composite case study that embeds eight key principles and practices
My Psychology Today article today offers a first-person report that's a composite of my clients' experiences that embeds eight key principles, practical and psychological, for landing a good job. After, I call those out.
Mutual Respect: Why it's key to the good relationship, and how to build yours
Mutual respect, obviously key to a relationship is often forgotten. My Psychology Today article today makes clear why it's so central and how to increase you and your partner's mutual respect.
Wednesday, January 26, 2022
Beware the Temptation to Indoctrinate Your Children
We care so much about our children that we want to give them our very best. That can include trying to inculcate our most deeply held beliefs. But that can poorly serve them. My Psychology Today article today explains why and how to educate rather than inculcate, so they become better and more independent thinkers.
The Wisdom Project: Yes-ands and yes-buts to 13 luminaries' quotations
I reviewed literally thousands of quotes and identified 17 that are particularly potent for living wisely. My Medium.com article today lists them plus my yes-ands and yes-buts.
Monday, January 24, 2022
Pursue Excellence Not for External Reward But for Its Own Sake
Remote Work: Version 2.0
Some fresh ideas on working at home. That's my Medium.com article today: https://medium.com/@mnemko/the-wisdom-project-4af09ec768f0
Thursday, January 20, 2022
Suggestions for the Worried Gen Z'er
My Psychology Today article today addresses common worries of Generation Z, people ready to start out in adulthood.
How to Avoid Irrationally Low or High Risk Tolerance
Financial advisors and apps ask clients to rate their risk tolerance, usually accept the answer, and find appropriate investments.
But why might someone's risk tolerance might be irrationally high or low. To become more rational, My Psychology Today article today offers 11 causes of and suggestions for irrationally high or low risk tolerance.
Tuesday, January 18, 2022
How to Reduce Social Anxiety
Everyone gets nervous in some social situations, perhaps a first date, an important meeting, or giving a presentation. But when the fear extends to avoiding or being too quiet with other people and it’s lasted for months or longer, it’s often termed social anxiety disorder or social phobia disorder.
But "social anxiety” is like a headache: The cure depends on the cause. I offer some cause-specific suggestions in my Psychology Today article today.
8 Ways to Become a Better Thinker
Monday, January 17, 2022
The Wisdom Project: Yes-ands and yes-buts in response to 13 luminaries' advice.
As I reflect on what writing has most helped my clients, friends, and me, I’ve become enamored of the short form. The quotation may be the shortest incarnation of wisdom.
So I reviewed literally thousands of quotations from respected luminaries to identify not-obvious but helpful quotes
My Psychology Today article today offers 17 quotes of particular value, adding my yes-ands and yes-buts.
Saturday, January 15, 2022
Advice for the Worried Teenager
Thursday, January 13, 2022
How Well Does Your Love Life Match Iconic Love Song Lyrics?
Tuesday, January 11, 2022
"They Say I'm Too Intense:" Suggestions that don't require a personality transplant
A client today is at risk of getting fired because despite being competent at his job, his boss said that she and others find him too intense. We developed a number of suggestions that he's enthusiastic about and may be of help to you. I describe them in my Psychology Today article today.