"S/he's Deadwood!" : Countering fear of being chopped away.

If you’ve been employed at the same place for a long time and especially if you’re looking forward to retirement, you may be perceived as deadwood. That’s dangerous because deadwood often gets chopped away before you’re ready to be cut loose from the mother ship. And if you worry that you are deadwood, it suggests that you’re burned out. Whether your being deadwood is perception or reality, the employee in final years may want to take steps. In my PsychologyToday.com article today, I describe them.

Ready-Fire-Aim: Taking a low-risk action is usually wiser than extensive rumination

Many people try to ruminate their way out of a dilemma: where to live, which career to choose, how to go about meeting Mr/Ms Right, etc.

My clients and I find it more helpful to, after modest reflection, jump to a low-risk action. I offer examples in my PsychologyToday.com article today.

What You Did as a Child: Clues to what to do now?

By the time we’ve reached adulthood, our core selves may have been pruned away by external forces: parents, peers, schools, and an ever-more influential media. To live a life more authentic to your essence, it may be helpful to review your favorite childhood moments and activities. In my PsychologyToday.com article today, I ask you some questions to facilitate that.

Wiser to Give to the Neediest or to the Higher-Potential? A Debate.

Thanksgiving kicks off “The Season of Giving.” The unspoken next phrase is “to the ‘less fortunate’” or some such. That concept is viewed as non-controversial as apple pie. But it may merit a bit of examination.

An underdiscussed foundational belief is whether it’s wise to increase the amount of resources—our own or society’s—gives to those with the greatest deficit or to those with greater potential to make a difference. There are solid arguments on both sides. I offer them in my PsychologyToday.com article today.

7 Almost-Awesomes: Not-obvious things to be grateful for

The miracle of birth—now that’s awesome. But that’s a high bar, so my PsychologyToday.com article today offers some almost-awesome things worthy of our gratitude as we approach Thanksgiving.

Fear of Embarrassment

Fear of failure is a widely cited inhibitor of self-actualization. In my experience with clients and myself, that’s often not as villainous as claimed. Irrational fear of failure is a problem: a person is competent to do X and can easily survive failure, indeed learn from it, yet nonetheless, in fear of failure, doesn’t do it. But often, task-avoidance for fear of failure is rational: the person estimates that their time would be better spent on something else.

A less discussed, often more problematic and, fortunately, more ameliorable inhibitor of wise action is fear of embarrassment: that others will think less of them. A few examples:

• For fear of seeming less-than, being unwilling to ask one’s network for job leads.
• For fear of sounding awkward, not asking someone for a date.
• For fear of showing vulnerability, being too withholding.

But what to do? I offer suggestions in my PsychologyToday.com article today.

The World's Shortest Course on Money:

Eight months ago, I wrote an article of the same title, but there’s enough that’s new that I wanted to write this: It's my PsychologyToday.com article today.