Wednesday, March 25, 2020

Corona Chuckles: My 31 faves

Laughter may not be the best medicine when it comes to corona, (the disease, not the beer), but a little gallows humor couldn’t hurt. It might even cut your cortisol. Here are my favorite corona chuckles:





2. Once they come out with a coronavirus vaccine, I don’t want to see any of you antivaxxers getting one. Don’t be a hypocrite!
3.






4. Prediction: There will be a baby boom in nine months, and then one day in 2033, we shall witness the rise of the Quaranteens.
5.






6. If you need 144 rolls of toilet paper, you probably needed to see a doctor long before COVID-19.

7.




8. QUARANTINE DIARY: Day 1: I stocked up on enough food and supplies to last months so I can remain in isolation until the pandemic passes. Day 2: I went to the supermarket because I needed chocolate.
9.






10. A couple of weeks in isolation with the family. What could possibly go wrong?
11.






12. It’s reassuring that even amid the shortages, some people have the sense to not buy buffalo hummus nor chocolate hummus.
13.






14. It’s funny how no store is sold out of essential oils.






15. Remember on New Year’s Eve, how we were like, 2020’s gonna be the best year yet?
16. Day 1 of Quarantine: I’m going to do body-weight training. Day 3: Poured ice cream into the pasta.
17. Dating in the Corona era. 1st date: Skype. 2nd date: phone sex. 3rd date: Screw the rules, come over.
18. The Coronavirus is God punishing us for the Cats movie
19. What’s the difference between COVID-19 and Romeo and Juliet? One’s the coronavirus and the other is a Verona crisis.
20. You know who buys up all the toilet paper? Assholes.
21. I’ll tell you a coronavirus joke now, but you’ll have to wait two weeks to see if you got it.
23. Nail salons, hair salons, waxing center and tanning places are closed. It’s about to get ugly out there.
24. I ran out of toilet paper and had to start using old newspapers. Times are rough.
25. What do ou call panic-buying of sausage and cheese in Germany? The wurst kase scenario.
26. Back in my day you would cough to cover up a fart. Now, with COVID-19, you fart to cover up a cough.
27. You know what they say: feed a cold, starve a fever, drink a corona.
28. The grocery stores in France look like tornadoes hit them. All that’s left is de brie.
29. Still no toilet paper in the stores. They’re wiped out and you’re shit out of luck.
30. So many coronavirus jokes out there, it’s a pundemic.
31. 2020: Cancelled

No comments: