Sunday, February 13, 2011

On Men at Valentine's Day

This was sent to me by an anonymous reader:

It's that time of year again: Valentine's Day. It's a time when men are castigated for being unromantic, too obsessed with sports, uncaring, and just not that "loving."

In the minds of the female-focused mainstream media and retail industries, it's a great way to guilt-trip men into buying more jewelry, flowers, restaurant meals, and whatnot. But never mind that we've commercialized another holiday that's not supposed to be commercialized.

What's this about men not being loving? Nothing could be farther from the truth.
Men, in my estimation, are actually very loving. They just don't show it in the way that the media-and-retail-industrial complex portrays it. So how do men show their love? Here are just a few ways that few people notice or give men credit for:

Men show their love by waking up at 2 AM and schlepping to the store in the rain to buy a quart of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream when a late night craving strikes.

Men show their love by checking out the things that go bump in the night, whether they're stray dogs or burglars.

Men show their love by not only obvious acts of chivalry, like opening doors, but also scraping the windshield, shoveling the sidewalk, dispatching the spiders, and taking out the trash to spare their women from these and other unpleasant jobs.

Men show their love by working in jobs that are boring, difficult, risky, stressful, dangerous, and even life-threatening so that their wives can work in jobs that are comfortable, safe, fun, and easy - or not at all.

Men show their love by worrying about what's going on in the world so their women don't have to.

Men show their love by doing those things on their "honey do" lists when they'd rather be watching the game.

Men show their love by fixing the things that are broken, whether it's a faucet or a heart.

To make a long story short, men show their love through their actions. After all, actions do speak louder than words. So ladies, if you think your man isn't romantic or loving, think again.

A Reader from Pennsylvania (It's sad that we live in a society in which he feels he had to write this anonymously.)


Jeffrie said...

And this doesn't cast men in a very good light around this time of year, either.

Title: "Feb. 13 - 'Mistress Day' - marks day of straying for men."

Marty Nemko said...

It takes two to tango. I wonder why the media doesn't call to task the women who cheat on their husbands/boyfriends.

JamieNTT said...

When listening to this last night on your show, I was reminded of a recent study that showed most men will cheat on a women who makes more money than him. Men like to feel needed and are problem solvers, so while men may be showing their love by taking "risky jobs" and "fixing things" so the little women doesn't have too, maybe women show their love by pretending to be less capable than she is so men's ego's don't get hurt.

Marty Nemko said...

Jamie, in 2011 there are infinitely fewer women who deliberately pretending to be less capable than they are to please a man than men who do all those difficulty, dirty, and dangerous jobs.

It also defies common sense that "most men will cheat on a woman who makes more money than him." As someone who has been around researchers and journalists for decades, that finding is more likely to represent investigator bias than a real phenomenon. Or it could be bias on the part of the reader of the research--exaggerating what the research says or its implications. Of course, it could also be a valid finding. But the longer I've been around, the more, the more I trust common sense than social science research, especially if it relates to issues of the post-modernists favorite: race, class, and gender.

WorkingLateAtOPIC said...

Loved this when you read it on your show. SO true. My BF once ran out of a movie to buy earplugs for me because it was so loud -- and he ended up missing most of the movie himself. I didn't ask him to do it -- it was his way of showing love and I recognized that. I SO appreciate the men in my life! They clean the cat box, take out the trash, plant the garden, fix electrical, plumbing and car problems. Stuff that is unpleasant/hard/dangerous or in poor weather: likely a man will be doing it. I took my best man friend out to dinner on VD. He's done enough for me in his life.

ST said...

I was married almost twenty years, divorced over ten ... I'm going for another ten, it's just easier that way. :)