Saturday, April 13, 2013

Beware of The Gorgeous Ones: Don't Overvalue Looks

In hiring and in choosing a long-term romantic partner, don't overvalue looks. The additional pride and sexual attraction you feel may well be outweighed by these negatives:

The Gorgeous Ones often feel entitled to be catered to or spent-big on, ironically because of something they deserve little credit for: they were born with good looks.

If only unconsciously, The Gorgeous Ones may believe they can get by on their looks, that is, they needn't work hard on their job skills, work ethic, or personality.

Many of The Gorgeous Ones can be quite cruel to others.

The Gorgeous Ones are more likely to use and withhold sex to get what they want. That can be true not only in a romantic relationship but in the workplace. You want to feel free to make choices on the merits not on having been manipulated.

The old song may have been right: "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make an ugly woman your wife." (and perhaps your supervisees.)

Of course, this all applies to both sexes.


Anonymous said...

If you're one of The Gorgeous Ones (or at least above average when it comes to appearance):a few words of advice:

*Remember that your looks are, like intelligence, something you have due to circumstances you can't change and didn't earn, and your looks can be taken from you due to circumstances you can't change, such as injuries or disease, and you WILL get older and less attractive.

*Many people may want to hire, befriend, date, marry, or sleep with you only because you're good looking. This means you need to be on the lookout for being manipulated and you need to be extra careful that you are choosing and being chosen for work and relationships on merit.

*Remember that while your looks may "get you in the door" with work, friend, and romantic relationships, your personality, skills, work ethic, and just being pleasant to be with are what make these relationships work over the long haul.

*Your looks are your "super power." Like any "super power," you're obligated to use it to do good, not evil.

*Make a conscious effort to develop the non-appearance-related facets of your personality. At the risk of sounding like your mom, resolve to be kind and work hard.

-Your reader in Pennsylvania

Marty Nemko said...

Thank you, reader in PA. I love your comment.

Anonymous said...

But what are we supposed to do with The Gorgeous Ones (GOs) who happen to be nice people too? I mean, we can all agree that such GOs are exceedingly rare (although we wouldn't want to paint the world in broad strokes, now would we?), but every once in a great while one meets a nice Gorgeous hottie.

Guess the best thing would be to simply let the GOs know up front that we will not tolerate for an instant even the least bit of unearned arrogance or spend one moment pandering to their infantile, narcissistic, hedonistic self-indulgences.

Yeah! That'll show'em!

Damn Gorgeous Ones...

Anonymous said... while we're at it, I wonder if you could post the phone number of the female Gorgeous One on your brilliantly insightful blog?

She's just so Gorgeous I'd love to ask her out!

Marty Nemko said...

No need to prejudge. But when you see signs of their unfairly using their looks, it's time to either call them on it or cut your losses.

Marty Nemko said...

Re the jpg of the Gorgeous One: I just copied it from the Internet have Google-image-searched on "Gorgeous."

Who knows, maybe if you sleuth enough you may get to find out if she's as beautiful on the inside as on the outside.

Anonymous said...

Ok, so I was on the bus and this pregnant Gorgeous One gets on. She looks around and sees that there are no seats left and sees that I am sitting in one of those "Reserved for Pregnant People" seats. She asks me if I would mind moving because her back was killing her when she stands and I was going to, but then I remembered your blog and I started to think, 'No way, she expects me to move because she's a Gorgeous One, that pregnancy business is just an excuse.' So I told her off right pretty---Boy! You should have seen the expression on her face. A couple of big dudes and the bus driver muscled me off the bus at the next stop, but I sure felt good about myself finally standing up to a Gorgeous One.

Thanks Marty Nemko!

Marty Nemko said...

There's a big difference between not being unfairly taken advantage of because of looks and sitting in a seat reserved for pregnant women and refusing to get up because she's pretty.

Anonymous said...

Hey Marty, now I'm confused. First you say it's better to have an "ugly wife" and now you tell me I was wrong to let a Gorgeous One have my seat on the bus? I mean, I don't think she would have asked me to give up my seat if she'd been ugly! And the way she asked me I could tell that she thought it was because she was gorgeous that I should give it up, not because she was pregnant. (Although she sure hadn't been withholding sex, I can tell you that much).

Yours, Confused

Marty Nemko said...

I can't imagine how you could discern she wanted to give up her seat because of her looks rather than pregnancy. If so, I guess it's okay. In any event, your example isn't the most salient. We're talking about being taken advantage of in ways far more serious than giving up your seat on a bus.

Anonymous said...

She's a Victoria's Secret runway model