I suspect that some readers will respond to this post with some unjustified put-down like "sexist!" or "misogynist!" but I'm trying, in my blog, to not let fear of excoriation preclude me from writing what I honestly believe.
My guest today on my radio show was Carnell Smith, an expert on paternity fraud. He claimed that 30% of men who went to blood banks for paternity tests found that they were not--as the child's mother claimed--the father. Smith went on to say that in most states, DNA evidence, in many cases, is inadmissible. He estimated that, currently, one million men are paying child support for kids they did not father.
Of course, it's outrageous that 30 states would enact such unfair-to-men laws. But why would a woman falsely claim that a man is the father of her child when he isn't, thereby forcing him to unfairly pay many thousands of dollars in child support, and manipulate him into spending 18 years involved in raising a child he didn't father? Smith says that these are the major reasons:
-- He had the deepest pockets among the men she slept with
-- She was trying to chain him to the relationship
-- She thought he'd make the best father
-- She was trying to lash out at the man
Of course, some men do despicable things to women. That's not the point. The media has made us aware (ad nauseam) of the ills men perpetrate on women. In this post, I'm trying to bring to light the much underreported ills that a surprising number of women perpetrate on men so that men can protect themselves.
While most women, like most men, are good people, women are unfairly cruel to men more often than many men think. It needn't be as extreme as paternity fraud. For example, it can simply be your wife or live-in girlfriend dissembling (consciously or not) that she's not viable in the workplace so she can only work part-time on some pleasant job like giving flute lessons, and that you therefore must be the beast of burden, working 40-60 hours a week on a job you might not like, but you're forced to accept to fund her expenditures.
I want to reiterate that I believe that the majority of women, like the majority of men, behave ethically and lovingly to their romantic partner. But many don't. And many guys are naive to that because the media focuses on the ills that men do to women but not vice versa. Men have also been conditioned, unfairly I deeply believe, to think they're oppressors of women.
So, men, be vigilant to being taken advantage of by a woman, and if you believe it likely that you are being treated unfairly, don't--before being convinced you're wrong--cave when she pulls out the ploys: crying, withdrawing, yelling, and yes, playing the gender card by calling you "sexist" or "misogynist."