When to Ask and How: At work and in relationships

I’ve often encouraged my clients to ask for what they want, and I've cited this anecdote: An orientation leader at Harvard told the incoming freshmen, “Key to success at Harvard is to ask for what you want, and when they say no, ask someone else.”

That advice is often valid, but your chances of an ask working increase if a little nuance is added: My Psychology Today article today suggests when, in the workplace and in a relationship, the risk/reward ration favors asking, and when it doesn’t. Then I offer a polite and a more assertive approach to making your ask.