Homework for Personal Growth: An approach for self-improvement and for helping professionals

My PsychologyToday.com article today offers an approach to homework for personal growth. Much of this should be of value not just to therapists, counselors, and coaches, but to any of us in self-improvement efforts.

Memorable Counseling

Whether you’re a counselor or counselee, isn’t is sad or at least surprising how little is remembered from a session?

Even though my clients record our sessions on their phone and I encourage them to listen, many don’t, and even if they do, they remember only a small fraction of the takeaways they had agreed is important.

On reflection, that shouldn’t be so surprising. Think of all the counseling, workshops, let alone college courses, you’ve taken. How much do you remember? If you’re like most people, not much lives beyond a day or two. Takeaways’ half-life is short indeed.

An antidote is for counselors — whether psychological, career, life coaching, whatever — to build-in memorability. Counselees can use some too. My PsychologyToday.com article today offers some tactics I’ve used.

A Psychotherapist Wants to Succeed in Private Practice: A mock career counseling session

My PsychologyToday.com article today offers a mock career counseling session in which a newly minted psychotherapist is contemplating starting a private practice.

This is the second in a series of mock career counseling sessions. The first involved a beleaguered psychology department chair.

A Mock Career Counseling Session

In my PsychologyToday.com article today, I offer a mock career counseling session. In it, the chair of a psychology department is trying to change its emphasis from applied psychology to basic research.

9 Counselor Dilemmas Judgment calls that can make a difference.

A counselor’s effectiveness depends significantly on the ability to make good judgment calls. I’ve found nine dilemmas important and frequently occurring. I describe them in my PsychologyToday.com article today.

Some counselors, especially those working at a college or a public agency may get to see a client only once, for lack of time or because the client no-shows after the first appointment.

Even if you do get multiple sessions with a client, it’s often wise to front-load the first session: that is, accomplish as much as possible to avoid a client concluding, “All I did was tell him about myself. I already knew all that. I don’t think that further sessions are worth the time (and perhaps money.)”

When a counselor knows or senses that it may be a one-shot opportunity, all's not lost. My PsychologyToday.com article today offers one approach to one-session career counseling. I’d imagine that some of this would be applicable to a wider range of counselors, therapists, and coaches.

Takeaways from a Career Counseling Class

I’m teaching a graduate course in career counseling. Some students told me that last night’s class was the most valuable yet. So I thought that, as my PsychologyToday.com article today, I’d describe some of its major takeaways.

Most are applicable not just to career counselors but to all counselors, therapists, and coaches. Most of them derive from a mock first career counseling session that I conducted with a student in the class.

10 Useful Questions: Queries that have helped my clients move forward.

The effective counselor asks good questions. Of course, many of the best questions derive from what the client says. But I’ve found 10 questions quite valuable in many circumstances. I list and describe them in my PsychologyToday.com article today.

Toward Counselors Making Better Judgment Calls

I'll soon start teaching a course on counseling and have been thinking, “What’s the most important thing I can teach my students?” It’s not theoretical models or even practical tactics. It’s the art of judgment.

My PsychologyToday.com article today offers common decisions a counselor has to make and the thought process I go through before deciding what to do:

The Joint Story: A tool for helping counseling clients move forward

The joint story technique is deceptively simple. I tell the client, “We’re jointly going to create a story."

In my PsychologyToday.com article today, I explain how it works, why, with whom it works best.

The Palliative Option: An underdiscussed way for counselors to help clients

We tend to praise MDs who offer a palliative option for end-stage patients. We're less likely to valorize counselors who do that with  treatment-resistant clients. 

In my PsychologyToday.com article today, I make the case that the palliative-care option should more often be offered, and suggest possible wordings.

Whjen Your Psychotherapy, Counseling, or Personal Coaching Client Has a Career Problem

Clients of helping professionals often have a career problem: Perhaps they’re unable to figure out what career to pursue, or can’t find a job—or keep one.

Before sending your client to a career counselor, you might try one or more of the tactics I offer in my PsychologyToday.com article today.

When Your Counseling Clients Don't Do Their Homework

Other career counselors consult with me about how to improve their practice. A common concern they raise is, “What should I do about clients who don’t do their homework?  My PsychologyToday.com article today describes what I tell them and I do with my clients.

The Story Game

There's a little mind game you can play by yourself or with something. It can be most revealing. I use it with some of my career counseling clients. 

In my Psychology Today.com article today, I describe it and include a transcript of the "game" I played with a client yesterday.

Terminating a Counseling Relationship

Whether you’re a client or a counselor, terminating the relationship is difficult. My PsychologyToday.com article today offers some thoughts on how to handle it. HERE is the link.

 

How I Start and End a Counseling Session

Much has been written about how to conduct a counseling session. Less has been written about what should immediately precede and follow one. So I thought I'd share what do.

Before the session

Many client sessions are by phone or Skype so these first few tips don't apply to them.

When the doorbell rings that lets me know the client has let him/herself into the waiting room:

1. I read my notes from the client's previous session(s.)  That way, the client is fresh in my mind.

2. If I'm not in great spirits, as I'm walking downstairs to greet the client, I remind myself to get in gear.

3. In greeting the client, I make clear I'm glad to see him or her: I smile, look them in the eye and say something such as "Good to see you again, Mary," and then a bit of small talk. For example, if during the previous session, s/he had mentioned her dog Woofie," I might ask, "How's Woofie doing?" 

Speaking of dogs, my dog Einstein no doubt greeted the client upon entering. So perhaps my most common small talk is to say something like, "Did Einstein welcome you appropriately?"

I keep my small talk very brief to give the client room to take the small talk in whatever direction s/he likes. That continues as we walk upstairs to my office.

Throughout this pre-session talk, I try to observe and infer the client's state of mind: happy, sad, phlegmatic, excited, etc. That can inform my first substantive question, for example, "You seem happier today. Great. What's up?"

If it's the first session, I note the sort of first impression the client is making on me. That may well be the sort of impression s/he will make at a job interview or on the job. If I sense a problem---for example, poor eye contact, low energy, an angry demeanor, whatever---I usually won't mention it at that point but make a note to raise the issue at an appropriate time.

I'll usually ask the client if s/he wants something to drink. If it's coffee, I'll usually make it fresh right there with the client watching. That's not just so that the coffee is fresh--It allows a few more minutes of informality, which can be revealing. People may be different in that informal setting than in the formal counseling session. I'm more effective if I can see them in that more natural circumstance. 

4. If it's the first session, I point to the sofa and say something like, "Make yourself at home." I try to strike the balance--in word and tone--between being professional yet informal and therefore relaxing. Einstein adds a measure of informality and stress reduction because he'll usually jump on the sofa, sidle up to and even kiss the client. I ask, "Would you like him down?" Most clients say they're happy having him up there. Einstein is a fabulous co-counselor/stress reducer.

5. If it's a first-time client, I start by saying, "I'd like to make a recording of the session for you. Clients find it valuable to listen again to sessions but I didn't want to do that without your permission. Is that okay? And do you want to record it on your smartphone, for me to make an mp3, which I'll email you, or even an old-fashioned audiocassette?"

After starting the recording, if it's the first session, I usually then say something like, "I've just had the pleasure of spending the last hour or so reading and meditating on the new-client questionnaire you sent me. Great, and I have a bunch of questions." They usually say, "Great," and we're off and running.

If it's not the first session, my typical starting statement is something like, "So in light of our last session, what have you been thinking and perhaps doing?"

I take a few notes during sessions so I can devote all my mental energy to listening and thinking what to say rather than to being sure I remember all that's important.

The End of a Session and Afterwards

I usually ask if the client wants to summarize the session or prefers that I summarize. After that summary, I typically ask, "Okay, what homework assignment would you like to give yourself?" I add my input where appropriate. Then I ask, "If we were in Vegas, would you give at least 5-to-1 odds you'd do the assignment?" If the client says no, I ask why. That usually reveals a problem we can usually fix: alter the assignment, explain it better, set a fixed schedule to do the assignment, find someone to be accountable to (including emailing me every night,) what to do if reaching a roadblock, etc.

I'll often ask the client to take notes while listening to the session recording, then print out a copy and keep it on their desk, and to email me a copy of the notes, to be used as a springboard for the next session.

Then, consistent with honesty, I try to end on an upbeat note, for example, "I think we're off to a good start. It'll be interesting to see what you get from doing that homework assignment."

After the client leaves, I immediately take notes on the client.