"They Say I'm Too Intense:" Suggestions that don't require a personality transplant

A client today is at risk of getting fired because despite being competent at his job, his boss said that she and others find him too intense. We developed a number of suggestions that he's enthusiastic about and may be of help to you. I describe them in my Psychology Today article today.

Adrenaline Addiction

When we hear the word "addiction," we normally think about drugs, alcohol, or cigarettes.  Less discussed but also common is adrenaline addiction: creating stress to get an adrenaline rush. I discuss it in my PsychologyToday.com article today.

Dealing With an Intense Person

You probably don't want an intense person to turn their intensity on you. Even if you're not worried about that, you don't want to unnecessarily make anyone feel bad.  

My PsychologyToday.com article today presents four things you probably don't want to say to an intense person. Plus ways to make the most of these potentially helpful folks.

A Hidden Key to Success

Standard advice usually omits this key to success: be enjoyable to be around. Whether you're an employee or self-employed, people prefer to work with people who make their life more pleasant. They'll often prefer such a person to a more competent one.

So, yes, be as competent as possible, but recognize that you pay a price every time you're high-maintenance, too intense, demeaning, etc., and you gain brownie points every time you make co-workers, bosses, or customers' lives more pleasant: getting a project done without bugging them, not making too many requests, complimenting them, giving them credit, inserting a bit of humor to break the tension in a meeting, etc.