Days of Our Work Lives; An unvarnished look at work today: Part I: David's Saga. Episode 2: Layoff

Days of Our Work Lives

Part I: David's Saga

EPISODE 2

Layoff

In the previous episode, the Big Enchilada told David to report to the conference room. 

David feigned confidence as he strode into the room. The others was already there--16 people. "What a waste--16 people in a meeting?!  With that many, everyone knows they're not important. Why doesn't she just send an email?"

In a meager sop to flattened hierarchy, The Big Enchilada sat in the middle instead of at the head of the still rectangular table.

David noticed that most of employees there were good ones, so he was relieved. "Good, it's probably not a mass firing. But something's up. This doesn't feel like one of those dog-and-pony show, CYA meetings. People are sitting straighter."

He was right. Big Enchilada said, "Headquarters needs to reduce headcount again. We need to cut five more. I don't want to do it unilaterally (another sop to flattened hierarchy) so let's brainstorm who. I need to stress that these are all good people, we'll give them a good reference and..."

David couldn't bear it: "Stop with the 'how great the corporation is' and let's get on with it." 

The others weren't surprised at David's outburst. It was quintessential David and only he, resident rock star, could get away with it. A lesser light would long have been "laid off" as "not a team player," "lacking people skills," or some other euphemism for being too honest to fit into the typical workplace.

The hatchet squad put all the Possibles under the microscope. Some were spared rationally, others irrationally. "She's young blood. I'd hate to let her go." and "We can't afford to lose an African-American. They're underrepresented, plus if we cut him, there's a chance he'll sue. We have less risk with a white." David was tempted to say "White privilege, my ass." But in today's environment, he knew that, even for him, that was risky.

In less than an hour, the goners had been picked. David found some solace in the fact that most of the good ones will get snapped up elsewhere. "The others will get a zillion weeks of paid vacation on unemployment." But then he realized that he, the taxpayer, is paying for that long vacation. His blood pressure went up again---He knew someone who, every time they extended unemployment said, "Good, now I don't have to look for a job for another few months. Or at least I can hold out for a really good job. Working people paying to discourage the unemployed from looking for work or accepting only ideal work? That's Alice-in-Wonderland."

David trudged--at that moment, a trudge could be forgiven--back to his cube but couldn't make himself focus: "Who cares what would explain more variance in 12-16-year old's Facebook-linked t-shirt purchases?" But reminded that if he stopped being so productive, he too could be axed, he forced himself to stare at the file...until Mike, one of those on death row, trudged, yes trudged, into his cube.

The next episode is HERE.

Days of Our Work Lives: An unvarnished look at work today: Part I: David's Saga: Episode 1: "Open" Workspaces

This begins Days of Our Work Lives, a continuing saga.


It tells the story of computer geek David, his music teacher wife Susan, and their active son Adam. It also embeds what believe are fresh and important lessons about career, relationships, and money.

I hope it's more enjoyable and helpful than if I presented these ideas in yet more how-to articles and public policy essays.

PART I: David's Saga

EPISODE 1
 "Open" Workspaces

As usual, David awoke grateful: grateful that he's well and that he has a decent job.

Although he works very full-time, he dutifully helps his wife Susan get their seven-year-old son Adam ready for school. Today, David tried to get Adam to take his own cereal but Adam likes being served and so threw a fit.  

David was grateful to finally escape into his car--He even preferred sitting in gridlock to his home's morning madness. But gridlock raises his blood pressure as much as does dealing with Adam. He's angry not at the drivers but "at the damn transportation planners for refusing to build more freeways so--a la slowly ratcheted-up torture--we're forced out of our cars and into the much more time-consuming and sardined mass transit." David would rather sit in gridlock in the sanctuary of his car.

He arrived at the double-glass doors of UnderSports, Inc. "It's showtime," he reminded himself.  He pasted his corporate-acceptable smile and made corporate-acceptable greetings to coworkers as he strode to his cube. In Corporate America, especially if you're 40+, you may not trudge; you must stride. But not too fast--that would make you seem insufficiently controlled, just a moderate stride, with good posture: chin up, back straight, shoulders back, chest out. As Cosmopolitan founder Helen Gurley Brown said, "After 40, it all comes down to posture."

An email from HR indicated it might finally listen to employees' pleas to add high walls to the cubes. David thought, "What a stupid idea: "open space workplaces." Yeah, it lets us collaborate, if listening to people blab about their kids or March Madness is the sort of collaboration you want. But you can't think, let alone get work done." 

But it's been six months since HR sent that memo and, no surprise, still no walls. "I guess they're too busy revamping the corporate mission statement. After all, it's hard to justify keeping "People are our most important product," when they keep announcing layoffs to reduce headcount, oops, 'rightsizing the organization.'"

No sooner did David's butt hit his chair when a colleague came in: "The Big Enchilada wants to see us in five."

"That can't be good. Will I still have a job?"

The next episode is HERE.