What to Say: Sample wordings for difficult situations in romance

What You Might Say in 9 Difficult Situations

My Psychology Today article today suggests what you might say in 9 common difficult situations, in relationships and at work.

What You Might Say in 8 Ticklish Situations

Yesterday, I offered some communication tips.  In my Psychology Today article today, I incorporate them in a sample response to eight common ticklish situations. Each response is followed by the thinking behind it.

What to Say in 16 Ticklish Situations: Tips on difficult conversations

In ticklish situations., we often get nervous if not downright tongue-tied.
Of course, the right thing to say varies with the situation and protagonists but perhaps the examples I offer in my PsychologyToday.com article today can be instructive.

I teach a 3-hour class this Sat. at Berkeley Adult School: How to Do Life

Berkeley Adult School has asked me back to teach another three-hour class this Saturday, Oct. 5 from 10 AM to 1 PM.

This one will be based on my book, How to Do Life: What They Didn't Teach You in School.

I'll discuss such topics as how to find and make the most of a mentor, how to negotiate well without having to be too aggressive, how to succeed in difficult conversations, and yes, my thoughts on the meaning of life.

It is free although you're asked to make a $10 to $15 donation to Berkeley Adult School's scholarship fund. No one, however, will be turned away because of lack of funds.

HERE is the info for signing up.

Favorite Communication Tips

Here are my favorite communication tips:

Smile more. It's amazing how much you'll benefit from that easy, superficial change: People will like you more, and you'll be more relaxed.

Put yourself in the shoes of the listener. Would what you're about to say elicit the desired effect?

Tip for establishing eye contact: What's his eye color? Does her eye area look kind or mean? Eyes are a window to one's soul.

To build connection, your responses should move toward the person: a clarifying question, supportive example, even playful teasing.

Keep your utterances to 45 seconds or less, then ask a question or shut up--No need to fill the silence.

In most conversations, talk a bit less than 50% of the time. More than that, you risk being viewed as egotistical, a blowhard, or too chatty.

Anecdotes persuade.

Don't confuse tact with timidity. Sometimes boldness is required.

Even if you need a lot from a person, perhaps ask for just a small piece. That cuts the risk of overwhelming the person and getting a "No."

"The first thing a man will do for his ideals is lie." Joseph Schumpeter, eminent 20th century political scientist and economist.

Secure people will accept and maybe even appreciate constructive criticism, but everyone loves earned praise, especially about something they feel insecure about.

When interviewed or giving a talk, you may be tempted to use a script. Don't! It leaches the crucial chemistry.