Tough Problems: “My wife died." "My dog died."

My PsychologyToday.com article today is the latest in the Tough Problems series. In each post, I present two composite questions that my clients face and my response to each. The first question is from someone who lost his wife and is having a hard time moving forward. The second is from an older person whose dog died and is afraid he's too old to get another dog.

Honest Reactions After a Spouse's Death: A top psychotherapist reacts to the loss of his wife.

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapist (REBT) and friend Michael R. Edelstein has just lost his wife of 27 years.

I found his reactions to her death remarkable in their honesty and usually unspoken universality. Many people may have such feelings but aren’t honest enough to voice them, especially in the face of well-wishers’ conventional, perhaps dutiful words.

I asked Michael if he wouldn’t mind sharing those thoughts. As my PsychologyToday.com article today, I present what he said. 

Grieve Less: The case for moving on quickly

Conventional wisdom says that, after a significant loss, whether a job or loved one through breakup or death, we must grieve fully before moving forward. So the argument goes, unless we’ve fully processed the loss, the painful feelings are more likely to linger.

But my clients and I have generally found that the longer the grieving, the more top-of-mind the loss remains.  I explain why and offer examples for moving forward in my PsychologyToday.com article today.